ABOUT WOMEN
Here's to the Sam-and-curly-fries guy, wherever he may be

By Catherine E. Toth
Advertiser Staff Writer

You'd go to class, survey the surroundings, notice the messy-haired guy in the back of the room. You'd decide the epic battle to find parking was worth it. Then you'd sit back and smile because you know you'll be seeing him every Monday, Wednesday and Friday for the next four months.

Your strategy: Plan a study session, finagle your way into his group project, ask to borrow notes. So easy.

But besides the slowing metabolism and conversations about retirement plans, something happens after college: It gets harder to find ways to meet people.

Sure, bars and clubs are strategically set up for just that purpose. But after a certain age — for me, it was 23 — spending hours surrounded by obnoxious one-liners and sweaty bodies just isn't fun anymore.

This has become a common complaint among my single friends, who have a hard time believing that perfect someone is sitting at the nearest bar, downing a Sam Adams and a basket of curly fries. (And there's something about meeting people in dim lighting and influenced by alcohol that makes the whole setup a bit sketchy.)

But where else do single Gen-Xers prowl?

College was the perfect dating playground. You're surrounded by people your age, with similar interests, sometimes living just down the hall.

But the best part was being on a schedule. It was a guarantee you'd see him again, every Tuesday and Thursday at noon in Kuykendall 301.

You didn't have to worry about that awkward question-and-answer session; your instructor took care of that in the beginning of the semester, asking each student to divulge the basics: major, hobbies, future plans, marital status.

Building up to the conversation where you plan for a lunch study group or exchange e-mail addresses — you know, just in case you miss class on Thursday — was less stressful than having to figure out how to get digits after a somewhat productive five-minute conversation at the bar.

Yes, there are places other than bars and clubs to meet people.

Take the gym: Broad selection, similar interests, but who wants to be hit on between squats?

Or surfing: Similar interests, nice view, but no way to exchange phone numbers unless you have an impeccable memory, even after getting pummeled by the waves.

Bottom line: The options are limited. And we have to be a little more inventive.

We spent the summer finding creative ways to meet people. We checked out new bars, surfed new breaks and became regulars at open-mike night at Anna Bannanas.

(One girlfriend is convinced the Bark Park is the best place to meet guys. Not only can you find love, your dog might, too. Even the one you borrowed.)

By August, we were all still single — but we knew every bartender and lifeguard in the city.

The point is that we met people, lots of people. Maybe we didn't find love surfing goofy-foot at Suicides or playing bluegrass at Anna's. But we found out that maybe, just maybe, he'll be sitting at the bar, downing a Sam and a basket of curly fries. Just like us.

Reach Catherine E. Toth at 535-8103 or ctoth@honoluluadvertiser.com.