Posted on: Saturday, September 14, 2002
EXPRESSIONS OF FAITH
Forgiveness may reshape our world view
By Susan Gregg
As so many of us do, I carried wounds from my childhood into my adult life. As a young girl, some boys molested me. At the time, I was devastated. I was sure it was my fault, and when the boys told me not to tell anyone or they would kill me, I believed them. When I began my journey of self-discovery in my 20s I ran across the concept of forgiveness and, with a great deal of anger and judgment, promptly rejected the idea.
Over the years, my thoughts on forgiveness have changed. As a society, we are taught to think in terms of duality: right and wrong, positive and negative, good and bad, black and white. As long as we view the world that way, judgment and comparison are part of our thought process. Forgiveness seems like we are letting them off the hook. Punishment makes more sense than forgiveness.
There is another way of viewing life, which I call dominion. I think of dominion as a huge sphere, a womb that holds everything lovingly within it. How we view events in our life depends upon where we are standing in that sphere.
We aren't taught to believe that we are one. In truth, we are all one.
Viewing life this way makes forgiveness desirable and understandable. The boys who molested me dealt with their emotional pain by molesting me. What a gift that realization was. I was able to see the experience for what it was, an opportunity to open my heart and love at a deeper level rather than judge them, the event, or myself.
I strongly believe that if we learn to live in dominion instead of domination the world would be a much more loving and gentle place to live.
In dominion, instead of judging things, we embrace them. Life, relationships and everyday events become an opportunity for us to see our filter system, which is composed of all of our assumptions, agreements and beliefs. In each moment we have a choice: Will I see this through the eyes of my filter system, the eyes of fear and separation, or through the eyes of my spirit, the eyes of love and oneness? In each moment we can choose to either be in dominion or domination, love or fear.
People often ask me, "How you can embrace the rapist or the murderer?" I share the story of my family. The Nazis killed my great-grandmother during the Holocaust. A cousin went back to Germany to fight with the Nazis.
Dominion allowed me to accept and understand both a brutal murder and a murderer. I believe that as a species we missed a wonderful opportunity after World War II. The legacy of Hitler and the holocaust wasn't simply about unthinkable cruelty and genocide. What if, as a species, we had seen Hitler as the symbol of our collective hatred, criticism, and judgment? Where would we be if we had given up our incessant need to be right? Where would we be today if we had sought to free the world of prejudice, judgment and hatred instead of focusing our judgment on what they did? Would terrorism exist in a world free of hatred and judgment? I think not.
As we move toward acceptance, we see the beauty of all our creations. When we view life from the perspective of dominion, we begin to see all of life as a work of art we create moment by moment.
Every event in our life is an opportunity to deepen our connection with ourselves, the people in our lives, and with God, the Great Spirit or whatever you choose to call the Creator of this magnificent universe. After we clearly see the role our filter system plays in our experience of life, we watch the world change.
I can't do much about the world as a whole but I can strive to make my little corner in it as loving and free of judgment as I possibly can.
Susan Gregg, a Honolulu author and teacher, studied many forms of spirituality and teaches the feminine aspect of the Toltec tradition.
