By Bob Krauss
Advertiser Columnist

What I miss about coverage of the war in Iraq is a bit of irreverence. Except for the super-emotional Iraqis, it's as stern and sober as a sermon by Cotton Mather. I doubt that this is an accurate reflection of conversation among our troops off-camera.

One reason is probably the terrifying stare of the television lens. It cleans humor out of most people like a dose of cod liver oil. Put a soldier in front of a TV camera and he's too scared to crack a joke. All that comes out is patriotism, duty, etc.

The coverage is so self-consciously objective that it's like watching demonstration surgery in a medical school.

Still photographers have dug deeper. Their pictures are more sensitive.

No Bill Mauldin has come forward with the wit and sarcasm and courage to make fun of pompous politicians. It's a weapon wasted. I can't believe that the soldiers aren't cracking jokes among themselves about the blunders that have been made in Washington.

If they aren't, then this war really is different.

Way back when I was in the Navy aboard LST 815, the crew fought two wars, one against the captain, the other against the enemy — in our case, the Japanese. The captain provided a more convenient target.

We had all kinds of lectures about how to fight the enemy. We had to depend on our wits and ingenuity when engaging the captain. The best combination of all was fighting the enemy and the captain at the same time.

After surviving the kamikaze attacks during the invasion of Okinawa, we plodded back to the Philippines for another load of tanks and jeeps. During those constant air raids over Naha Bay, the captain was on call in his sea cabin under the conning tower to direct the action.

A signalman who looked like a pirate, David Blood, was forever trading for Japanese swords, cat eyes, helmets, flags, etc. He had traded everything in his sea bag except a pair of dungarees. With nothing left to trade in the Philippines, he stole the mattress cover in the captain's sea cabin.

"Now hear this. Now hear this," the captain's voice boomed over the loudspeaker. "All hands report to the main deck in dress blues. We're going to find the SOB who stole my mattress cover."

There we stood at attention in the sweltering heat, battle-weary and dog-tired, the captain marching up and down the ranks, glaring into faces. Nobody squealed.

It's true that more reporters are embedded with our troops and are in closer contact with the enemy than in World War II. Most sobering of all is the horror that has come out of Saddam Hussein's cruel regime, and the suffering of civilians.

It's made even my friends humorless. My favorite columnist took a Navy vocalist to task for singing, "Wake up, wake up, let's make love tonight," at a patriotic concert. Gee whiz, Lee, I doubt that any single male soldier in Iraq would object if she whispered that in his ear.

Reach Bob Krauss at 525-0873.