By Lee Cataluna
Advertiser Columnist

On Tuesday morning, Albert Batalona, Warren Elicker and David Scribner pleaded not guilty to charges of escape from Halawa prison.

You remember Batalona, Elicker and Scribner. They're the ones who escaped from Halawa prison.

Only now, I suppose we have to say they ALLEGEDLY escaped from prison, ALLEGEDLY hid out in the mountains about Hau'ula, ALLEGEDLY were spotted and apprehended on a roadside, on a bus, in the back of a pickup. Those pukas in the wall in maximum security? ALLEGED pukas. Maybe was puka, maybe not.

Who knows? Maybe they were safe in their cells the whole time and the three who were caught were impostors. Or clones. Or aliens. The Stepford Inmates.

"Oh, no, your honor. We didn't break out of the prison. Uh, we fell. That's it. We wuz sleeping and then all of a sudden — boop! — just like we slid right out of the bunks and landed right in the middle of some guava trees in the mountains by Hau'ula. Was unreal, I tell you."

Or could it be that they were actually kidnapped out of Halawa? Maybe one kidnapped the other, and that one kidnapped the third. Maybe they were actually performing a public service, testing prison security and exposing flaws. They were actually saving the state money. No need to hire a security consultant. Maybe they should be paid for the risk assessment they provided.

Maybe it was all a dream.

Or maybe they were bored and looked forward to the mental stimulation of a trial.

Under state law, there's actually an affirmative defense to charges of escape known as "choice of evils." The basic concept is that the escape was necessary to avoid imminent harm; of the choices of two evils — stay and get hurt, or dig and get busted — escape was the better option.

However, certain conditions must be met.

• The person charged with escape received an overt or implied threat of death, substantial bodily injury or forcible sexual attack.

• Complaint to the proper prison authorities was impossible or there existed a history of futile complaints.

• Under the circumstances, there was no time or opportunity to resort to the courts.

• No force or violence was used against prison staff or other innocent persons.

• AND, here's the big one, the escapee promptly reported to the proper authorities when safe from the immediate threat.

"Uh, hi. This is me. I left 'cuz I made a choice of evils and I chose the evils of a steady diet of guava and

beef jerky and being bitten by mosquitoes bigger than my head. I'm safe now. Kinda' hungry. And itchy, too. You folks can come get me? Ah, ne' mind. I take the bus."

Trial for da boyz is tentatively scheduled for June 23.

Lee Cataluna's column runs Tuesdays, Fridays and Sundays. Reach her at 535-8172 or lcataluna@honoluluadvertiser.com.