FAMILY MATTERS
Even in Hawai'i, there are seasons to behold, cherish

By Michael C. DeMattos

Having grown up in Hawai'i, I have always listened to others speak about the seasons with a tinge of jealousy and a bit of envy. I often daydreamed of falling backward with arms outstretched into a mound of gold and orange leaves.

Once, after raking the mango leaves in our front yard, I decided to give it a try. To my disappointment and pain, I found that our mango tree did not put out enough leaves to produce a decent pile, and that Wai'anae soil was more coral rock than soft loam.

As a child, it was the physical realities of seasons that I longed for.

I wanted the autumn foliage and myriad colors. I wanted snowball fights and canceled school days. I wanted a fishing season that began on a particular day because it was officially spring.

Now, nearly 40 years later, it is something a bit more abstract that I long for. I have had my snowball fight and open-meadow strolls. I suppose what I want is time, and it seems that with the seasons, I get it.

It's like magic.

Over the years, I have learned to track time by watching the sky like the people of old. I look out for new and full moons and mark each equinox and solstice with a silent toast.

A year has always been a bit unwieldy for me. Each New Year, our family reflects on the year that was, and shares our dreams about the year that has yet to be. Still, it is always with a bit of trepidation that I divulge my thoughts and feelings.

How do I distill an entire year into a sentence or two? How bold to believe I can speak of the year to come with any certainty. A year is simply too overwhelming for me to negotiate.

And so you can imagine my delight when a few weeks ago I found my mind wandering, as it is apt to do, while mowing the lawn. It suddenly dawned on me that soon my daughter would be heading back to school. Summer was nearly over, and the fall semester would be starting soon.

I shared my revelation with my wife, who smiled the smile of the wise. She pointed out that I was once in school, and that this should be nothing new. Yes, the school year was there when I was growing up, but my needs, as I said, were different. Now, with a child heading off to the first grade, it has all fallen into place like leaves after an autumn breeze. I am looking forward to fall and spring and then summer again.

I have my seasons!

I suppose it was there all along, just as my wife said. But maybe, like the years we live, we also have seasons.

I am a memory miser who has used time to make a living, but I am not done yet.

Thanks to the sun, moon, school and my daughter, I have a bit more time to make a life.

Family therapist Michael C. DeMattos has a master's degree in social work.