ABOUT WOMEN
So you think the dating game is easy for us? Dream on, guys

By Catherine E. Toth
Advertiser Staff Writer

"You guys have it easy."

My guyfriend threw that at me with a dismissive shake of his head. Obviously referring to his delusion that the woman's role in the dating game was simple, he took his most recent rejection and manufactured a theory that women, in every scenario, had an easier time than men.

I nearly choked on my Diet Coke.

"You don't have to do anything," he continued, drowning his depression in a pitcher of cheap beer. "The guys come to you. It's not fair."

Fair?

"Let me tell you about fair," I returned, suddenly feeling very unsympathetic about his dating failure. "You THINK you have to do all the work. You THINK we just stand at the bar, smiling, waiting for the free drink. But you obviously don't get it."

I'm tired of guys thinking women just miraculously appear in front of them, hair done, nails done, without any effort.

Oh, there's a lot of effort. The boyfriends out there know our little secret, having to wait the length of sit-coms for us to get ready just to go out for ramen on a Thursday night.

It can take hours of effort to prep for a night out. Lathering, scrubbing, shaving, moisturizing, bronzing, dusting, applying, smearing, smudging, lining, blotting, curling, straightening, smoothing, spraying. And that's before we're even dressed.

I'm not even taking into consideration the hours of running, biking, swimming, yoga and Pilates. Or the emotional strength it takes to push away the cheesecake and eat the tofu salad instead.

We're the ones obsessed with the size of our thighs and breasts. We're the ones who count calories and write in food journals. We're the ones who drop $100 on shoes we don't need only because they'd look cute with the new skirt we just bought.

Being a woman isn't easy, especially if you're not pulling down a major salary or built to strut down catwalks. In fact, if you include our hormones, we just may have the single hardest job in the world.

We actually complain how easy the guys have it. Sure, they're typically the ones who have to muster up the courage to walk over to a woman (who's just standing there, waiting, right?) and face the reality of a possible rejection and the humiliation that often follows.

They complain about the depressing male-to-female ratio at bars. They say that women have all the power.

True — to an extent. But being a guy does have its benefits.

Men can have love handles. Men don't have to shave. Men can eat entire plate lunches. Men can drive beater cars, drink out of milk cartons, scratch in public, sweat, spit, swear.

Men don't have to spend $20 on manicures, $60 on pedicures and $150 to highlight their hair, if they have any.

Men can own too many tools and toys without other men complaining.

Men don't go through the agony of bikini waxes and mammograms.

My guyfriend still didn't buy it as he scarfed a plate full of chili cheese fries and another bottle of beer, insisting women never have to work for anything. I looked down at my Diet Coke, which had stopped fizzing an hour ago.

"Waiter, another Diet, please," I said. "On him."

Reach Catherine E. Toth at 535-8103 or ctoth@honoluluadvertiser.com.