THE LEFT LANE
Rock-bottom acts

Advertiser Staff and News Services

The '80s- and '90s-heavy list covers a gamut, from predictable targets of rock-critic wrath — Michael Bolton (No. 3), Kenny G (4), Kansas (6), Creed (23) — to the irrelevant (rapper Benzino, No. 17; rock band Japan, No. 25).

Some Rock and Roll Hall of Famers show up as well. The Doors turn up at No. 37 because front man "Jim Morrison ... inflicted his terminally adolescent views on the wider world."

Mick Jagger and David Bowie also make the list, though not for their most celebrated works. Jagger lands at No. 13 for his non-Stones efforts ("Even Bill Wyman laughs at Mick's solo records," says Blender), and Bowie at No. 12 for his band Tin Machine (which demonstrated "that he too could be really, really bad").

And No. 1? Blender crowns Insane Clown Posse "the worst band ever" for the cartoonishly outfitted group's "ham-fisted rap-rock music" that "sound(s) worse than they look."

Belts, bags are back

Accessories took center stage at the designers' fall collections this year.

In a nod to the 1950s, ladylike looks were de rigeur. Mod '60s styles inspired by Courreges and Cardin were spiked with colorful, no-holds-barred jewelry, boots, belts and bags.

Intricate detailing was key, with tassels, buttons, ribbons, bows and jewels on everything and at every price point. Luxury and femininity rule. Shades of pink, salmon and deep orange are splashed on suede, tweed, leather and crocodile handbags. Looks are pulled together with peep-toe heels or pumps decked with bows or buttons.

Pleasure principle

Helen Gurley Brown

Long before the likes of Carrie Bradshaw and "Sex and the City," Brown, now 81, was something of a revolutionary. She told single girls not to feel guilty about having sex, and even that casual affairs with married men aren't the end of the world.

Barricade Books has decided advice in the cult classic is still sound, so another generation of single girls can read her advice on how to please a man — and themselves.