Meet the social misfits you see at Longs

By Joseph T. Rozmiarek
Advertiser Theater Critic

•	'Folks You Meet In Longs' Where: Kumu Kahua Theatre When: 8 p.m. Thursdays through Saturdays and 2 p.m. Sundays, through Sept. 28 Tickets: $5-$16 Information: 536-4441

"Folks You Meet In Longs" is another in Cataluna's string of comedies with a distinct Hawai'i base and flavor. It's also a departure from her small-cast, strong story line format.

The show's format is a string of monologues connected only by their location in the popular Longs Drugs store where — sooner or later — everybody shops. It's opened and closed by Dawn Gohara as a 20-year veteran cashier, who claims she has seen it all during her tenure — four times over.

While the premise promises a slice of life, the dialogue focuses on a collection of characters who are several clicks off dead center on the normal scale.

Everyone is an exaggeration and the show quickly becomes a comic satire. The characters are recognizable and delightful, but their stories play like an open microphone night at a club for social misfits.

There's Janice Terukina rattling on about a fellow shopper now in the hospital from a bathroom fall caused when her jade cocktail ring got caught in her panty hose. Either her head or the toilet bowl cracked open like an egg and she suffered "a coma or a concussion — something that starts with 'c'."

There's Daryl Bonilla, recounting a terrible bout with diarrhea during a drive across the Pali, only to find relief on his father's front lawn.

There's Denise Colon, suffering from an addiction to pickled mango and prowling the aisles in search of someone with green fruit.

Director Keith Kashiwada stages the action with the right amount of coming and going to give the locale a realistic sense. Employees stock shelves, fill prescriptions and ring up sales. Customers nod in recognition and sometimes listen to each other, but without any real interactive dialogue.

Pukaua Ah Nee becomes a makeup consultant, advising on just the right products to cover up a "hickey necklace."

Pamela Staats is a 70-something grandma, advising the youngsters to smoke, drink and find another kupuna — since despite her advanced age, she hasn't learned anything useful.

Chance Gusukuma is a slick young charmer who calls every woman "baby," but shifts focus with every passing skirt.

Albert Makanani Jr. plays the 'ukulele and sings a Longs jingle that you won't hear on your television.

For variety, there are more somber moments.

Wil Kahele is a fumbling child-molester, Bonilla is an estranged father bragging about his son's picture in a sports magazine and Terukina shares a recurring dream in which she lives above the store as the wife of the original "Mr. Longs."

Ultimately, however, the show isn't really about a drug store. Longs is simply a focal point for the short stories that entertain us with their flamboyant comedy and sting of recognition.