ISLAND STYLE
What? When? Wear?

By Paula Rath
Advertiser Staff Writer

As we hurl ourselves headlong into the holiday season, invitations to parties — all sorts of parties — are heading our way.

Joyce Tomonari, left, is dressed for a cocktail party. Al Tomonari, center, is in a tuxedo for a black-tie affair. Patrick Gey's aloha shirt is appropriate for "aloha attire." For "elegant aloha," just add a jacket with a white cotton handkerchief. Jeff Widener • The Honolulu Advertiser

The question can throw even the savviest of dressers into a tizzy.

Some may shrug and say, "What does it matter?" But deep down, most of us want to dress appropriately.

It's not simply about what's on your back. It shows aloha and respect for the host and hostess, and the event itself.

So we decided to ask some experts what they wear to functions.

Patrick Gey of Boucheron in Waikiki and Al and Joyce Tomonari of Neiman Marcus gave us some advice.

Gey, a Frenchman with that inimitable Gallic style, worked for Christian Dior in Paris for 10 years and became a leading stylist and protocol expert for French television talk-show hosts, politicians and movie stars. He dressed them for every imaginable occasion.

The Tomonaris are arguably Honolulu's first couple of fashion. They attend nearly every benefit, including the Heart Ball, Opera Ball, Kama'aina Christmas, Contempo and The Caper. They are always impeccably turned out, whether dancing under the stars or shopping at a farmers' market.

No matter where you shop or what you spend, knowing how to dress appropriately has to do with good manners, an understanding of etiquette and protocol, and simple good taste.

These three gracious people have all that in spades.

In general

In Hawai'i, there are many ethnic garments that are appropriate for evening affairs. A barong can often substitute for a dinner suit or even a tuxedo. A cheongsam made of dressy fabric can serve as an evening gown. In Japan, a kimono can be as dressy as a ball gown.

One mistake often spotted at Island affairs: the wrong handbag. An evening affair calls for a small, elegant one made of silk, satin or a fine leather such as crocodile. For cocktail parties, a colorful, whimsical bag also is OK. While not as socially desirable, shoulder bags (only the tiniest of straps, please) are often necessary because a woman may be wrestling with a glass of wine and a plate of pupu, rendering a clutch bag impossible.

While we would never agree that "shoes make the man," Patrick emphasizes the importance of well-groomed shoes for men and women. He remembered meeting the king of Morocco, who had a shine on the soles of his shoes (though we doubt he shined them himself) so that when he crossed his legs, you saw shine on both the bottom and the top. Now that's attention to detail.

Black tie

For him: Al Tomonari and Gey always opt for a tuxedo for a black-tie affair. There is no flexibility in this regard, they said. "I never want to feel underdressed," Tomonari explained.

A classic tuxedo is the best investment, since a trendy outfit may look dated next year. It's now fashionable to add some individuality with a matching bow tie and cummerbund in an interesting weave of black, silver or gray. A hand-tied bow tie is more elegant than one that is pre-tied and hooked. Gey said a woven tie "is more opulent" than a printed one.

Matching studs and cufflinks are ideal, but if that's not possible, at least make sure the metals match — don't wear gold cuff links with silver or black studs. Patrick said the most elegant studs and cufflinks are made of yellow or white gold, black onyx or mother of pearl.

Footwear is always formal: black, laced up and worn with over-the-calf black socks.

While Island men often try to use the heat as an excuse not to "get dressed up in a penguin suit," today's high-tech and natural fabrics and blends are lighter and breathe more than the old-fashioned tuxedos.

Here's another reason to buy your own tuxedo, Gey and Tomonari said: Rental tuxes are made of stiff, sturdy fabrics so they can take hard wearing and constant dry cleaning. When you buy your own tux, you can choose the fabric you prefer.

In the case of "black tie optional," both men said they would wear a tuxedo. However, if you don't own one, a dark suit with dress shirt and tie would be an option.

For her: Black tie means a long gown. You can't get away with a short cocktail dress or evening pants for black-tie events. The degree of dressiness of the long gown depends in part on the location of the event: If it's indoors in a large ballroom, a woman can have a gown that takes up a lot of space, such as a Cinderella-style number or even a gown with a train. If it's an outdoor event, something closer to the body would make more sense.

Joyce Tomonari said to be careful what shoes are chosen for an evening outdoors. A spiky stiletto can end up stuck in the mud or grass, leaving Cinderella shoeless for the rest of the evening.

She suggests investing in two pairs of evening shoes: one in metallic leather such as a matte gold and one in black satin or faille.

She often opts for a handkerchief hemline (uneven and not quite ankle-length) for outdoor events. Another secret she employs: She has a seamstress sew a little loop into the gown so she can scoop up the skirt, anchor it on her finger and keep the hem from getting dirty.

For Island evening gowns, it's fun to be a little seasonal, choosing colors and fabric weights that are lighter in spring and summer, cooler in autumn and winter.

Cocktail attire

For him: This invitation denotes an early-evening affair. While on the Mainland this would call for a suit, in Hawai'i a man can get away with a tailored linen shirt or long-sleeved aloha shirt with summer-weight wool pants and dressy loafers.

Please be sure the belt and shoes match — always.

For her: This calls for something short and a little less formal than an evening gown. A strapless short dress is appropriate, the length being determined by the age (and legs) of the woman. Joyce opts for just below the knee. An elegant two-piece outfit such as blouse and skirt or evening pants and blouse also would work for a cocktail party.

Many chic Island women wear Chinese pajamas in beautiful silks to cocktail parties.

Evening attire

For him: This generally denotes a late evening, with dinner included. Men should wear a dark suit and tie. Gey suggests kicking it up a notch by adding a little silk handkerchief poking out of the jacket pocket.

For her: Joyce Tomonari would select "a long jersey-type gown in a dressy fabric such as satin or georgette. Not something tailored." It might be long or short. For an anniversary or birthday party, a short dress would be fine.

Pantyhose are necessary only if covered shoes are worn, not with sandals or mules.

For any evening event, a woman looks best wearing a small watch with a black satin or crocodile strap.

If wearing the latest look in jewelry, chandelier earrings, it's better not to wear a necklace, as they will compete with each other.

Elegant or formal aloha

For him: This is the time to pull out your favorite aloha shirt, making sure it's pressed perfectly. The same goes for pants: They need to be beautifully tailored and pressed. Al Tomonari often adds a blazer and gray pants to his aloha shirt. Gey says if you're wearing a blazer, your aloha shirt should button all the way down the front.

The men recommend investing in dark gray and khaki-green pants, as they go with nearly every aloha shirt out there. Lighter-colored pants are not appropriate for this type of event.

"In Hawai'i, you can always gauge the well-dressed man by the pants he chooses," Joyce Tomonari said. "If they are cut well, of a fabric that drapes beautifully, you know he's a man who cares about how he dresses."

Woven shoes and a matching woven belt complete this look.

For her: This is the ideal opportunity to get out that elegant evening mu'umu'u or holoku with a lace bodice or an off-the-shoulder neckline. Pair it with a lei or a beautiful pair of chandelier earrings.

Gey appreciates a woman wearing flowers in her hair.

Joyce Tomonari may wear a simple long black or white dress, often linen, with Ni'ihau shell lei and a small evening bag.

Aloha or resort attire

For him: "No jacket, for sure," said Gey. It's time for a silk aloha shirt or your best rayon or cotton lawn (a fine weave with a sateen finish).

Al Tomonari suggests a crisp linen shirt for spring and summer events, paired with well-cut linen, microfiber, summer-weight wool or gabardine pants for an evening event, or dressy shorts for a daytime party. Lighter colors, such as beige, are fine for invitations that say "aloha attire."

For day, a polo shirt or silk knit shirt works with shorts.

Woven loafers, nice sandals or other informal slip-on shoes are appropriate, and they actually look better without socks. Joyce said she likes to see men wear more colorful shoes and belts with aloha attire.

For her: This is an opportunity to wear ethnic looks or mu'umu'u.

"A linen, cotton or rayon sundress in a bright color or print that falls at or below the knee, finished off with a pair of sandals or mules and no pantyhose, please," said Joyce Tomonari. A straw bag is ideal — leave that big leather one at home.

Gey loves to see women in lauhala hats with feather lei or a flower in their hair.

Reach Paula Rath at prath@honoluluadvertiser.com or 525-5464.