KISSES AND MISSES
Instead of your foot, put those magic words in your mouth
| • | Kisses and Misses |
By Tanya Bricking Leach
Advertiser Staff Writer
What better time than the holidays for a little romance?
The music, the mistletoe — it can make you downright nostalgic. It can make you want to rekindle old flames or light some new ones (as long as all of the magic and melodrama doesn't turn you into Scrooge first).
Should a woman give an old flame another chance even though he has a history of doing her wrong? Weigh in with your answer in our online poll.
Would this be a good time to tell someone you're in love with them? BIG FOOT in Wai'anae wants to know.
One more chance?
Dear Kisses and Misses: I'm a single guy in my 50s, and I've stuck my foot in my mouth too many times. Here's the problem: About eight years ago, I met this woman, and while I didn't feel an immediate attraction, I could tell she liked me. She's happy, polite, charismatic and loving, but I blew her off at first. One day, she invited me out for a drink, and lo and behold, she told me she liked me. I took the macho man approach and said, "No, I like our friendship the way it is." I can still remember that look on her face — not shocked, embarrassed or sad. She just said "OK" and took a sip of her drink.
Through the years, we became close friends, but I didn't tell her about my feelings for her. To my surprise and shock, she went out on a date with someone else, and I didn't know I could feel so hurt and jealous. I can't believe the hostility I feel for this guy. I'd like to wring his neck! So powerful is my conviction that it took all of about 15 seconds to realize I'm in love with her, and she doesn't even know it. How can I tell this beautiful lady I want her in my life?
— BIG FOOT IN MY MOUTH IN WAI'ANAE
Read her the letter you just wrote to me. She's the one who needs to hear these things.
It might be tough for a macho man like you to sit down and talk about your feelings, but what is taking you so long? Speak now or risk losing her forever.
She sounds understanding. After all, your words eight years ago must have stung, but she stuck with the friendship. Maybe hearing you open your heart to her has been her Christmas wish for years.
The best gift you could give her is the truth about your feelings.
She might be just as shocked to hear it as you were to hear about her date.
Like fleeting holidays, moments of opportunity pass.
Here's hoping you didn't miss yours.
Tanya Bricking Leach writes about relationships for The Advertiser. Need advice on matters of the heart? Write to Kisses and Misses, The Advertiser, P.O. Box 3110, Honolulu, HI 96802, fax 525-8055 or e-mail kissesandmisses@honoluluadvertiser.com.
