Posted on: Sunday, December 21, 2003
COMMENTARY
Care home kindles teen's grateful heart
By Frances Won
She looked strikingly young — young enough to be my mother.
My eyes kept wandering to the back of the room to steal another curious glance at her youthful complexion.
As a member of the Tzu Chi youth group, I frequently visit the patients of Palolo Nursing Home and O'ahu Care Facility.
At the nursing homes, we entertain the patients with Chinese sign language dances. We interact with them through therapeutic games such as catch (using beach balls) and then treat them to a nice massage.
Call it community service if you will, but beneath the surface, I'm having the time of my life.
Just like the sentiment that was instilled in me through youth group — "To give with joy is to help others with a happy mood." — I am happy to be there.
During one visit, a particular patient caught my attention. Her youthful appearance hit close to home, as she reminded me of my own mother.
"What is she doing in a place like this?" I asked myself. Her downhearted expression triggered a greater respect and appreciation toward my mother.
I began to reflect with remorse how I've treated my mother and how I've taken her for granted post-adolescence in the past few years, up until now.
An unanticipated spout of tears broke my trance, and I looked away from the woman.
An adult mentor from my youth group consoled me: "Don't be overcome with sympathy, but be glad that you're doing your best to make someone's day better."
During the routine massage, I volunteered to massage patients seated near the young patient . She listlessly leaned back into her chair when her turn for a massage came. Determined to break the monotony of this activity, I took both of her hands and began swinging her arms in a dancing motion to the beat of the music playing in the background.
For a moment, I saw her eyes light up with a zest as we giggled at our uncoordinated movements. When it came time to leave, she tugged at my hand and said, "Thank you for visiting today."
Such a mundane gesture of gratitude, to my surprise, possessed so much power over me.
I felt as if it had redeemed every wrong I've ever done, every harsh word I have ever thrown at my mother, and every time I have said that she was ruining my life.
Those simple words had the same healing effect as if my mother were to say, "I forgive you for everything."
In some senses, these nursing home visits are just as therapeutic for the members of my youth group as it is for the patients.
A general consensus of the members I've spoken to was that these routine nursing home visits kindled a feeling of being more loving and kind around our families.
I urge today's teenagers to become actively involved with some form of community service, not just to garnish their college applications, but to experience the spiritual refinement that these opportunities offer.
"Giving will reap the greatest harvest." The satisfaction I accrued knowing that I was able to make someone's day better is something that will never tarnish or rust.
Helping others really does give you that warm and tingly feeling inside, and at the same time, it induces you to contemplate your own life, the simple things you take for granted and your courses of action.
So, select something you can do, whether it's recycling, preserving wildlife, doing arts and crafts with the children of Big Brothers and Sisters, or making casual conversation with an elderly patient.
But, of course, you must want to be there and be happy to help.
Frances Won is a senior at Moanalua High School. If you're a teen and would like to speak out about issues, trends, pressures and perceptions teens deal with each day, submit an article or suggest a topic by e-mail to Island life assistant editor Dave Dondoneau at ddondoneau@honoluluadvertiser.com.
