Posted on: Sunday, December 21, 2003

Simple reminders help keep holiday blues at bay

Advertiser Staff

To help Hawai'i residents avoid or combat the holiday blues, the Hawai'i Psychological Association is offering a free brochure, "The Road to Resilience."

A buzzword in the psychological field, "resilience" refers to the ability to adapt well in the face of adversity, trauma, tragedy or stress. It means being able to bounce back from difficult experiences.

Resilience is not a trait that people either have or don't; it involves behaviors, thoughts and actions that can be developed in anyone.

The brochure, available free by calling the HPA at 521-8995, lists important resources, helpful definitions and detailed information, including 10 ways to build resilience.

The following ideas from the Hawai'i Psychological Association can help people avoid the holiday or post-holiday blues:

1. Family gatherings bring joy as well as unresolved issues. Remember that this is not a time to solve all past problems, and that silence is sometimes the best answer. You can't please everyone, and everyone won't please you.

2. Reach out to others who are lonely; it can help you put your own problems in perspective.

3. Eat right: Before going to the party, especially if dinner is late, or carry along food; don't skip meals.

4. Take care of your body: Get plenty of sleep and rest; drink lots of water; be sure to work in some exercise every day; limit alcohol.

5. Stay within your budget.

Remember, it's the thought that counts, and a heartfelt card can be more special than a store-bought gift.

6. Decrease nonurgent demands. This is not the time to remodel the house. Don't worry about what guests or relatives will think; save the spring cleaning for the spring.

7. Know how and where you are spending the day. Don't be afraid of being alone; it can be OK, even beneficial, if you plan for it.

8. Follow the three Rs: respect for self, respect for others and responsibility for your actions.

9. Let people know if you have special needs, such as anniversary mourning or a recent loss. Don't keep it to yourself.

10. Adopt a spirit of gratitude. Count your blessings and watch how they add up.

11. Don't feel obligated to attend every single holiday function. Saying no can be very healthy this time of year.

12. Remember the reason for the season, and keep things simple.