Wai'anae family reunited and hopeful after year of grief

By Will Hoover
Advertiser Leeward O'ahu Writer

For Donnalynn Brzezowski, who held out hope against despair, the only moment worth considering is the one she's living now.

Donnalynn Brzezowski, right, and son Roman Brzezowski — on leave from the Army — adjust ornaments on the tree as they look forward to a merry Christmas. Richard Ambo • The Honolulu Advertiser

What Brzezowski does know is that her family is together for the holidays, there's a roof over everyone's heads, and there's even a Christmas tree with lights in the corner.

Considering what she's been through this year, that qualifies as a remarkable moment.

A plaque above her sofa seems to sum up how she feels this holiday season: "Home's where each lives for the other and all live for God."

When Brzezowski does reflect on the past, she concedes that 2003 was an emotional roller-coaster ride. Only recently homeless, Brzezowski, her husband Paul, and five of their seven children found themselves living in two tents beside the ocean in Ma'ili.

Things went from bad to worse on the evening of June 27, Paul's 48th birthday.

As he and the couple's youngest son, 7-year-old Matthew, were walking to the Pacific Shopping Mall in Nanakuli to get a birthday cake, they were struck by a car and killed in a crosswalk on Farrington Highway.

Hours after losing her husband and son, the grief-stricken wife and mother insisted her family would rebound and pull through. Through the difficult days that followed, she somehow remained resolute in her faith about the future.

"I'll never give up hope," she said yesterday, as she and her son Roman adjusted ornaments on the tree. Roman, 22, a sergeant in the Army stationed in Texas, showed up this week by surprise and will remain with the family through Jan. 4.

But Brzezowski also admits she was stunned by the outpouring of concern and support from friends, relatives and total strangers after the deaths. By the end of July, thanks to efforts by many, the Brzezowskis had moved into a small one-bedroom, one-bath apartment not far from Wai'anae High School.

"That all surprised me," she said. "Because normally when people have something happen within their family, the community doesn't really get involved."

In this case, they did. Wai'anae Coast residents Ivan Laikupu and Patty Teruya were instrumental in setting up two community benefit concerts in August for the Brzezowski family. Memorial funds were established at Bank of Hawaii and First Hawaiian Bank. Contributions poured in by mail from around the state.

Laikupu helped raise money to pay for a headstone for Paul and Matthew Brzezowski, and found the family its Christmas tree. He has taken Donnalynn Brzezowski on several discount grocery-buying trips to advise her on saving money. He wants to assist her children in finding jobs.

"Donna calls me her guardian angel," Laikupu said, "but I get blessed more helping her than she might think. I've told her we have a friendship that will last for life."

Mark Suiso, a financial planner for First Hawaiian, said he and others helped show the family how to get on their feet financially. "They've had to learn how to budget their money," Suiso said. "They're getting good welfare support now, and they're also getting some Social Security."

But Suiso said the family is still living on the edge and sometimes runs out of food. He said the $5,000 or so that was in the family memorial fund at his bank has been spent, and the account was closed.

Things are not perfect, Brzezowski agrees. Life is still frequently overwhelming. But there's always hope, come what may.

And for the moment, everyone is here, the tree is decorated, and sorrow has been replaced by holiday smiles.

The important thing, Brzezowski said, "is that the family is together right now. And we're safe."

Reach Will Hoover at 525-8038 or whoover@honoluluadvertiser.com.