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The Honolulu Advertiser
Posted on: Friday, December 26, 2003

10 reasons for popster Justin Timberlake to just go away

By Liz Stevens
Knight Ridder News service

He can sing. He can dance. He can do color commentary for the NBA, shill for McDonald's and suck face with Cameron Diaz at the same time.

He's Justin Timberlake.

And he's unbearably annoying.

At 22, Timberlake is the most sought-after U.S. music act. We're not sure why, but we do know that it's really hard to take seriously a ex-Mouseketeer turned curly-haired homey.

In Touch magazine says Timberlake is threatening to auction off love letters from ex-girlfriend Britney Spears for charity. The dog!

But there are at least nine other reasons we'd like to muzzle Justin "Justified" Timberlake:

9. His (apparently well-earned) nickname: Trousersnake.

8. His self-consciously "street" Web site sells tiny "booty shorts" — presumably to 12-year-old girls!

7. He's a nerd. Come on, women. Are we so desperate for sex symbols that Timberlake can end up on the cover of Details magazine — twice? In a Clearasil ad would be more like it.

6. He's a wannabe. Michael Jackson might be weird, but he did it a whole lot better 20 years ago.

5. Trendy, trendy, trendy: Timberlake's now part-owner of a new restaurant in West Hollywood. McDonald's is looking better every day.

4. He made Britney cry. On national television.

3. His own holiday-time TV special, which aired last week on NBC. We never thought we'd say this, but ... bring back Perry Como!

2. He's dating 31-year-old Diaz, who reportedly used to baby-sit him (joke!). Hollywood never ceases to amaze.

1. Spawn of the boy band. Need we say more?