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The Honolulu Advertiser
Posted on: Sunday, February 2, 2003

Worried about war

• Stay informed, be calm, assess financial risks

By Mary Kaye Ritz
Advertiser Religion & Ethics Writer

Pearl Harbor Kai Elementary School students Malia Keilani Riviera, right, and Grace Chung, middle, hunt for Iraq on the classroom globe. Principal Carole Freehan says increased anxieties over Mom and Dad going to war are becoming evident.

Photos by Richard Ambo • The Honolulu Advertiser

Kathy Inouye has no problem finding Iraq on a map. The student teacher, 23, knows the families of her young kindergarten charges at Pearl Harbor Kai Elementary could be on the front lines of any potential war with that country.

"I try to keep tabs on what's going on," said the University of Hawai'i student. "I work with these kids, and with their backgrounds I think ... (potential war is) a major concern."

Pearl Harbor Kai principal Carole Freehan, whose school sits at the edge of Pearl Harbor Naval base, knows students, teachers and staff there are feeling the effects of the ratcheting rhetoric about the Iraq situation.

Freehan, who has served as Pearl Harbor Kai principal for 11 years, said anxiety shows itself in several ways. The pitch of parents' voices, for example, when the adults call with everyday concerns, now has an edge of agitation.

"The tenor has changed," she said. "But I feel it's a reflection of the situation."

Freehan counsels staff to be understanding, to cut these families some slack. When, for example, more parents find it hard to leave after drop-off in the mornings, Freehan wouldn't dream of shooing them away: "They're providing support for each other.

"As the rhetoric has increased, we're noticing more anxiety (in the classroom)," Freehan said. "They're worried about Dad and Mom. They're naturally reflecting the frustrations of their parents."

Co-authors Dr. Gerald G. Jampolsky, a psychiatrist, and his wife, Diane V. Cirincione, a psychologist in private practice on O'ahu, aren't surprised schools feel the brunt of the undertow world events seem to have on the collective psyche.

After all, as parent Patty Doty puts it, children are magnets for increased tension.

And under the circumstances, how could they not be? Doty's three sons — the oldest, age 8 — filled in a chart every day showing how close it was until their father, a submarine commander, would be home after his six-month deployment. But after they had nearly reached the end of the chart, Doty had to tell them that their Daddy's deployment was extended, and she does not know when he'll be back.

To reassure her children, she goes through a litany: "You're safe. Mommy is here to take care of you. We need to be proud of ... (Dad). Our job is to go to school, go to church. ..."

Doty, a former pediatric nurse, sighs. "And you say that 35 times in one day."

UH political science professor Michael Shapiro said tensions between the United States and Iraq have already begun taking their toll — on Iraqis.

"The planned assault on Iraq is only the iceberg," he said, adding that more than 500,000 Iraqi children have already died in the conflict. "... It's not a question of being anxious about a forthcoming event, but upset about events already taking place."

He has seen heightened interest in the developments, but not more anxiety in his students ... to his dismay.

"I wish that there were more ways people were registering concerns," Shapiro said.

His colleague in the department, Kathy Ferguson, a professor of political science and women's studies, says she's seeing a mix of anxiety and denial in students, and in the greater community.

Her two teenage sons watched last week's State of the Union address on TV with her, and were disturbed. And those in her classes, even when studying Machiavelli and Aristotle and not current events, "volunteer to make the connection between what they've read in ancient text to current situations," she said. "It tells me that it's on their minds."

Granted, her students are more likely to be plugged into current events, she said, but the turnout at the last few anti-war demonstrations "shows people are thinking about it and concerned."

As well they should be, she said: "I think you have to be an idiot not to know that if the U.S. goes back to war, Hawai'i's economy is going to go back into the toilet. People don't go on vacation when there's a war. It's going to be a major setback."

You might guess that in the settings of academia and schools with high numbers of military families, anxiety is naturally higher than, say, at the shopping mall.

And you'd be right.

Interviews with people at Ala Moana on Wednesday show more people are concerned about what's on sale at Williams Sonoma than who's assailing Saddam Hussein.

Anela Nihinu, 23, sitting with her friend, Kathy Akanu, 36, and their children in strollers outside Foodland, eating sandwiches after filing their taxes, admits she hasn't kept up with the news and, frankly, doesn't care much about it.

"I'm more concerned about finding a house," she said.

Her friend, Akanu, has had a few flutters of concerns, as did Gerry Tamayo, 78, but mostly because they don't like the idea of war.

"It could affect us, our businesses," said Tamayo. "Maybe we can't visit our relatives on the Mainland."

Jamie Milliron and her friend, Katie Joseph, had more on their minds than Iraq. Their trip home to Michigan, for instance. The 16-year-olds had been in Abercrombie & Fitch, finding sweatpants for the long airplane ride on Friday.

After visiting Pearl Harbor with their school group, war suddenly didn't seem so abstract for the teenagers, who are a bit worried for their friends who are in the military.

"It feels real," said Katie.

Natividad Furutome of Wahiawa was in town for the day, shopping, when she took a moment from her lunch in the food court to say her worries about the war center squarely on the effects on Hawai'i's military.

"It'll be terrible," she said. "I worry about the boys."

At 21, Jeremy Aurelio of Waipahu couldn't be called a "boy" anymore. But he wasn't worried. At all. His only point of concern was the economy.

"It's time we do something about" Iraq, said Aurelio, grabbing a bite to eat before starting his shift at the Gap. "I work in retail, so I'll get less hours. In the small picture, I'll be screwed, but in the bigger picture, it will be beneficial."

Josh Tibbetts of Las Vegas was honeymooning in Honolulu and trying to follow his new wife's admonition to "please be intelligent!"

"It doesn't affect me," said the 23-year-old who could easily pass for a police officer, but isn't. (He works in construction.) "The only way it would is if there's a recession or if they reinstate the draft, which with this many reserves, isn't likely."

Waiting outside Neiman Marcus, Franco-American investment banker Jean-Paul Renoir, 56, had plenty of time to impart some insight while his wife shopped at Christian Dior and Bacarrat.

"The second Bush has painted himself into a corner and it's going to cost him," said Renoir, who has dual citizenship.

While he can — and does — spend plenty of time discussing Bush's saber rattling, as well as the political and economic implications of war with Iraq, in the long run, Renoir sees no long-term effects for Hawai'i.

"It'll be an excuse for a few gas companies to increase the price of gas," he said, "and a short-term economic flux."

For those who do see their anxiety levels on the rise, mental health professionals Jampolsky and Cirincione know coping methods can help. The couple has been invited almost weekly since Sept. 11 to speak publicly about their field of expertise: forgiveness. They've addressed classes (Kailua Intermediate and Lanikai Elementary), been on radio programs and counseled people who are losing their jobs in the economic fallout.

Fear of the unknown is the worst kind of fear, Cirincione said. Sometimes we react by trying to control the people around us.

"We can't do much about outside, but can do something about our inner world, which in an indirect way can be helpful to other people," Jampolsky added.

Some are spurred to take action.

Last week, the Hawai'i Association of International Buddhists joined an ever-growing number of religious leaders speaking out as the U.S. considers attacking Iraq.

In the fall, the Episcopal Diocese of Hawai'i adopted a resolution urging Bush to exercise restraint in the use of first-strike capabilities against Iraq.

Sheryl Jai, a coordinator for the Season for Peace and Non-violence, applauds when they see anxiety manifesting in this way. She agreed with Ferguson that more people are joining in the anti-war effort, and noted that a recent weekend peace rally drew hundreds to Honolulu's streets.

"It's really exciting now," she said. "People are interested in walking, in banning together."

Action is better than anxiety, she has learned.

"I don't get into fear, because fear immobilizes me," said Jai. "It's important to stay focused on job, to keep people learning that they have solutions. People can learn to be an instrument ... (of peace) in their own lives."

Back in Milton Ching's Pearl Harbor Kai class, as the 5- and 6-year-olds buzzed with the excitement of a photographer taking their picture, kindergarteners tried to explain the Iraq situation.

"There's a bad president," said Malia Rivera.

"It's nasty over there, and we need to protect people," added John Zimmerman. (His parents call him Jonathon.)

"My dad is going out in a war," Adrian Martinez announced, in a voice clear and keen.

"A lot of people die," Tshombe Harper told him.

"My dad isn't going to die," replied Adrian, more than a bit indignant.

It's important not to be a victim, said Jampolsky, to find one's inner peace, even in the midst of chaos.

"Think positively," Jampolsky advised. "Find other people to help. When you're in the process of helping other people, you're not feeling so fearful."

• • •

Stay informed, be calm, assess financial risks

USS O'Kane crewmember Kaipo Lopes kisses his 3-year-old daughter Keale Lopes, before departing at Pearl Harbor.
Feel anxious about the Iraq situation? Some tips for coping, by author Gerald G. Jampolsky, M.D., and his wife and co-author, Diane V. Cirincione, Ph.D., an O'ahu counselor:
  • Keep informed by reading the newspaper, listening to the radio, and watching TV, but don't overdose on the news.
  • Let your voice be heard, regardless of your political beliefs, and don't fall into the trap of being silent because you do not think your voice will make a difference.
  • Resist the temptation to blame others. Look for common ground rather than fault, and make forgiveness important: Heal anxiety and fear by letting go of grievances, even those against your enemies. Decide to live in the present.

Other tips to keep anxiety at bay:

  • If you're planning your dream vacation and want some peace of mind, talk to your travel agent about travel insurance, suggests Danny Casey, local president of the American Society of Travel Agents.
  • Merrill Lynch wealth management adviser George Kaluhiokalani suggests taking a step back and assessing one's financial goals. How much risk you're willing to take will affect what investments you make. If you want to be conservative in this uncertain time, you might want to look at low-risk bonds or CDs, rather than stock-related investments.

— Mary Kaye Ritz