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The Honolulu Advertiser
Posted on: Sunday, February 16, 2003

FAMILY MATTERS
A brief escape from enslavement by computer

By Michael C. DeMattos

I was sitting at my computer sending out an e-mail to a buddy when I was notified that I had new mail. I minimized my outgoing note and checked my in box. It was a message from my wife. The subject line read something like "for a good time, call ..."

Normally, this would have made my day, but it was six in the morning. After nearly 15 years of marriage, early morning romance is the exception not the rule. Besides, she was pedaling away the miles on the stationary bike in the next room.

I suspected a virus. Minutes later my computer began to do funny things. Within the course of a single day, I watched as it went from fully functioning to malfunctioning to not functioning. I spent the day fighting to keep the system alive, but in the end my glorious computer had been reduced to a paperweight.

Luckily I was under warranty. With my files backed up, I spent the next day trying to access customer service. I was on hold for almost four hours and spoke to an actual human just once. A month later, I am still having nightmares, and to make matters worse, they are now narrated by that sultry automated voice saying, "If this is a problem with a peripheral, please call the original manufacturer."

It took two weeks to get my system back up and running. For the first few days I found myself wandering into my home office only to see a black screen staring back at me. I was having withdrawal. I had all the signs. I found myself thinking about my computer in the middle of the day. I thought of all the things that I could get done were it only up and running. I became envious of my friends and their systems. I even contemplated buying a new computer.

I wasn't alone. My wife and daughter kept asking me when the computer would be up and running again. My daughter wanted to hop on PBS.com and Mom needed to finish her newsletter. With each question, the wound deepened and I longed to have a computer in the house again.

Then something weird happened. The longing dissipated and the need for technological connection subsided. I called people on the phone and then visited them at their house. I watched a movie and played a little golf. My wife and I went out to dinner. I was liberated, and so was my family. The chains had been broken and I recognized technology for what it truly is ... golden handcuffs.

I promised myself I would never again become a slave to technology. My computer was repaired and I kept my promise ... for a few days. Then I fell back into old patterns. I now spend my evenings surfing the net or sending e-mail jokes to friends. I've fallen again. God forbid the television goes down and my wife finds me in the kitchen, watching the microwave.

Michael C. DeMattos has a master's degree in social work. He is a family therapist, educator, trainer, storyteller and angler, and lives in Kane'ohe with his wife and 6-year-old daughter. Reach him at: Family Matters, Island Life, The Advertiser, P.O. Box 3110, Honolulu, HI 96802; fax 525-8055; at ohana@honoluluadvertiser.com.