And TV's new glass slipper goes to ...
By Frazier Moore
Associated Press
As Valentine's Day fades away, you will learn the funny valentines Evan and Trista chose.
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Tonight on "Joe Millionaire" (7 p.m. on Fox), Evan Marriott decides between Zora, the substitute teacher, and Sarah, a former bondage queen the show identifies as "Asst. to Mortgage Broker." They are the finalists from a field of 20 lovelies who began vying for Evan's heart and the $50 million they were told would come with it.
"Joe Millionaire's" Evan Marriott will choose his partner tonight and "The Bachelorette's" Trista Rehn will choose hers on Wednesday.
Then on Wednesday's "The Bachelorette" (7 p.m. on ABC), Trista Rehn will give her heart (or, anyway, her final rose) to either firefighter Ryan or financier Charlie, the remaining pair from what were once 25 hunky swains.
On each finale, the Chosen One will be revealed. But exactly what Evan or Trista is proposing may remain less certain.
Marriage? Engagement? To "be with" that someone (whatever "be with" might mean)? On "The Bachelorette," the obligatory wording is, "Will you accept this rose?" Just see how far that gets you in the real world.
But this, of course, is fantasy land. Here, Trista, Evan and those who pursued them get to act out the audience's fantasies, which conveniently include nonbinding terms: Till death, or the next commercial break, do us part.
Just recall banker Aaron Buerge, who, on ABC's "The Bachelor" last fall, told schoolteacher Helene Eksterowicz, "I'm really looking forward to sharing my life with you."
Now their makeshift engagement is apparently kaput. But you can learn more at 7 p.m. Thursday on an ABC special, "The Bachelor: Aaron and Helene Tell All" — more evidence that the highest ambition of people who go on TV isn't likely to be love or marriage, but being on more TV.
Within the glut of staged-but-unscripted TV fare, the spin-the-bottle category is hot. And reliable. Whether it's a syndicated dating show or a serial bacchanal like Fox's "Temptation Island," the idea is the same: Some participants get lucky (as in, you know, wink-wink, lucky) and some get hurt (as in, not lucky).
But there's something distinctive about "Joe Millionaire" and "The Bachelorette." While sexual conquest is at the crux of both shows, each cloaks potential bawdiness in the trappings of romance.
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Evan, though a red-blooded male of 28 with a harem within arm's reach, has remained a gentleman, a model of propriety, whether squiring his date du jour on a bicycle ride through the French countryside or jetting her to Cannes.
The show even frames his moneyed masquerade as a romantic ploy, a way to test his chosen mate's pure-heartedness on learning he is actually a $19,000-a-year construction worker, not a stinking-rich heir. Thus the moment of truth: Has she been after Evan for his nonexistent fortune, or for what he really is — broke, handsome and a liar?
Over on "The Bachelorette," the action is no less refined. There is no "sex," as such. Just selective "intimacy" and the rare "sleepover."
As with Evan on "Joe Millionaire," Trista's wooers have replaced macho bluster with hearts-and-flowers courtliness.
"I think Trista and I realized tonight that it was meant to be," Russell told the camera a while back in the sort of moonstruck exposition all the bachelors have been spouting.
Granted, Russell was mistaken. Rose-less, he was shown the door last week. But what about fireman Ryan, the show's self-appointed poet laureate? He recites sticky verse ("... She is, to me, the rainbow through the rain/ She is, to me, the laughter through the pain ...") that brings tears to Trista's eyes, whatever his fate might be.
Not that Trista seems to know. From the start, she's been racked by indecision.
"Because of today at the spa with THESE five guys," she said on an early episode, "they have raised the bar for me and made me reassess the guys from LAST night."
Like Trista on "The Bachelorette," Evan has done his part to guarantee suspense on "Joe Millionaire" by stringing the audience along.
"I'm just kind of thinking to myself, she could possibly be the one," he said, referring to Sarah (or was it Zora?) on this week's episode. Then: "I have feelings for both of them." Then: "Noooooooo idea."
Final tough, tough decisions lie ahead for Evan and Trista, whose self-described burdens only President Bush could fathom as he stews over war with Iraq.
Then, with each show's conclusion, you will hear the big question and the long-awaited answer. But remember: Any commitment is subject to change.
