By Bob Krauss
Advertiser Columnist

Patrick Ching stood in front of the family store in Punalu'u by the sign that says, "Ice Cream, Film, Bait." His eyes filled with tears. "It's a parent's worst nightmare," he said. "Kurt was supposed to take over this store someday."

Kurt Ching, 17, was killed last week in a car accident that didn't have to happen.

"The boys were mud-hogging in a pasture off Kahekili Highway," explained Carlton, Patrick's brother, now in charge of Ching's Store, a Punalu'u institution founded by Kurt's great-grandfather. "The truck rolled over. Two of the boys jumped out. Kurt didn't make it."

Grief twisted the faces of the men, father and uncle, both in their youthful 40s. They tried not to cry. It was deep inside.

"You know, I really thought Kurt would be the fourth generation in the store," Carlton suddenly burst out. "He said he was interested. I was going to give him a raise."

The door to a tragedy swung open as words flooded out.

"I asked the kids in the accident to come to the house," said Patrick. "I wanted them to see the pain of somebody who really loved Kurt. I don't think they realize that. When I was his age, I didn't realize it.

"Young kids think life is passing them by. They don't want to miss the excitement.

"I told Kurt: 'Life is right in front you, your family. You don't have to look farther. Spend quality time with your family.' "

A gathering of fellowship and healing will be held at Kahuku High School gym from 5 to 9 p.m. on Friday; a memorial service will be at 7 p.m.

We went inside the store. Patrick stared unseeing at a package of macaroni, agonizing about whether he had been a good enough father.

"We used to go diving for tako together. The values I taught him were hard work, being honest, doing the right thing in your heart. I kicked him out once for smoking marijuana. He went to stay with his friend, Jesse, down the street. I wrote him a letter. He came back after a week. Jesse told me, 'Everything you said in the letter was right.' "

Uncle Carlton was almost as close to Kurt as his father because Kurt worked part-time in Ching's Store stacking shelves, bagging. Carlton's son was in a car accident that he walked away from.

"It makes you realize that life is fragile," Carlton said. "I coach the golf team at Kahuku High. Kurt was my No. 2 man on the team. He could have played for the UH. His golf bag is still in the back of my pickup.

"I'm calling the team together. I'm going to tell them what happened. Think about it before you do crazy things. Every time you leave your parents, give them a hug. Tell them you love them."

Reach Bob Krauss at 525-0873.