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The Honolulu Advertiser
Posted on: Sunday, January 12, 2003

Whiner or winner? How to complain effectively

By Tanya Bricking
Advertiser Staff Writer

Illustration by Jon Orque • The Honolulu Advertiser

Go ahead and vent

You can post complaints, learn from personal experiences of others or ask for feedback direct from companies on the Internet at sites such as planetfeedback.com, consumeraffairs.com and complaints.com.

Get advice from a professional complaint writer, or even hire her to complain for you at ellenspoisonpen.com.

A clearinghouse of consumer help sites can point you in the right direction at consumerworld.org.

For local help, try the Better Business Bureau of Hawaii at hawaii.bbb.org or phone 536-6956.

Hawai'i's Department of Commerce & Consumer Affairs at state.hi.us/dcca includes the Office of Consumer Protection, which investigates consumer complaints alleging unfair or deceptive trade practices. It covers a broad range, from advertising to refunds, car rentals, door-to-door sales and credit practices. You can download a complaint form online. To speak to an investigator, phone 586-2653.

In local culture, there's a saying about the nail that sticks up being the one that gets pounded down.

But Heather Shanks has never been one to suffer in silence. If she sees a wrong that needs to be righted, she speaks up. If she's really steamed, she writes letters.

If she were a parable, she would be all about squeaky wheels getting grease, not about nails getting pounded down.

"I'm a complainer, my husband will tell you," said Shanks, 27, a student and military wife in Kailua.

"I'm not a yeller, but I will complain," she said. "If we have poor service in a restaurant or something like that, I'll tell my husband: 'You might want to go sit in the car' " — while she takes it up with management.

Most of the time, if the complaint is valid, she said, speaking up is worth the trouble.

In her experience, merchants would rather be told about a problem. And she is one of those people who has learned the art of effective complaining.

But for every customer like Shanks, there are 26 others who never report a complaint even when one is warranted, a recent study in Business Marketing magazine found.

This silent dissatisfaction has its price. The magazine study claims that each of those 26 unhappy customers will tell 18 others about their experience.

"People are uncomfortable, sometimes, complaining to a business," said Jo Ann Uchida, complaints and enforcement officer for the state's Regulated Industries Complaints Office, which investigates such things as "lemon law" claims against carmakers.

Once past the discomfort, however, "people really do have a lot of clout," Uchida said.

"People should communicate to the merchant about a complaint," she said. "Just one person talking stink about a company can really spread around. Merchants are motivated to try to solve the complaint."

Unfortunately, the gap between wanting satisfaction and not wanting to be seen as a troublemaker can loom pretty large in our minds.Even by Mainland standards, society doesn't have a lot of use for complainers, said psychologist Barbara Held, author of "Stop Smiling, Start Kvetching: A 5-Step Guide to Creative Complaints" (Griffin Trade, 2001, $9.95).

Held, a psychology professor at Bowdoin College in Brunswick, Maine, says the "turn-your-frown-upside-down" approach to life that predominates in American culture isn't practical. In fact, learning how to kvetch (Yiddish for complain), can be a better coping skill than pretending to be happy all the time.

Nobody likes a whiner. But in the proper context, with a willing listener, Held said, there can be positivity in being negative. And she's not just talking about dissatisfied customers. She's talking about everyday kvetchers. People who want action need to be even more aggressive, she said.

When it comes to being an unhappy customer, complaining effectively to get results takes more skill than your average gripe, contends Ellen Phillips, who has made a living for more than a decade as a professional complainer.

The Alexandria, Va., former English teacher went pro in 1987 after a carpet-cleaning company came to her house and left behind a stain that wasn't there before. When she called to complain, an employee accused her of lying. So she sent a letter to his boss. Not only did the boss apologize, but he fired the rude employee and cleaned her carpets for free.

Her impressed husband and friends encouraged her to make a business out of putting other people's pain into words for a modest fee. So she began handing out business cards that promised: "Satisfaction guaranteed or your frustrations back" from "Ellen's Poison Pen: Professional Letters of Complaint."

Her business took off after she was profiled in the Washington Post, and in 1999, she turned her niche business into a book: "Shocked, Appalled, and Dismayed! How to Write Letters of Complaint That Get Results" (Vantage Books, $12).

Calm down

Phillips boils down her advice:

  • Calm down and get rid of your anger before you pick up the phone, dash off an e-mail or put a stamp on a letter.
  • Find out the name of the head honcho of the company, and address your letter to the highest level, with copies to lower-level people and appropriate agencies.
  • Be polite but firm, stating facts and including documentation such as receipts. Condense your letter to one page, and check your grammar and spelling before you send it.
  • Tell the recipient what you expect, whether it be an apology or your money back, and give a date (usually within two weeks) by which you want a response. Be prepared to send another letter if you don't hear anything after a month.

Anne Deschene, president of Hawai'i's Better Business Bureau, said her best advice is to do your homework before you point the blame at a business. The most common mistakes consumers make when complaining to the BBB are being too emotional or overlooking details, such as contracts they've signed, until it's too late.

The BBB's Web site (hawaii.bbb.org) allows customers to look up local businesses to find out whether other customers have reported unresolved complaints against companies. The BBB handles about 7,000 complaints a year.

While the BBB has no enforcement power, the state does, said Stephen Levins, a lawyer with the Office of Consumer Protection, part of Hawai'i's Department of Commerce & Consumer Affairs (state.hi.us/dcca).

Violating Hawai'i law can mean fines of $500 to $10,000 per violation, he said.

His office handles more than 2,000 complaints a year, involving allegations that range from telemarketing scams to advertising violations.

The best cases are ones with a paper trail kept by consumers who keep receipts and document how they've tried to resolve the problem.

"Initially, if you're civil to people, you'll have a better chance of reaching a resolution than if you're openly hostile," Levins said. "But some companies won't attempt to satisfy you."

Technology is making complaining easier. Government agencies, such as the Office of Consumer Protection, have complaint forms you can download from the Internet.

Be direct, follow up

Even simpler forms, so you can type in your complaint and it's automatically directed to heads of companies, are available through free online services such as planetfeedback.com.

Shanks has tried the online technique, too. When she complained through planetfeedback in August to the Estee Lauder Co. about advertising a product she couldn't find in Hawai'i, the company offered her free samples. When they didn't deliver the samples, she complained again and got them.

About 90 percent of the time, Shanks said, she gets positive results from complaining. But don't expect something for nothing, she cautions.

She advises people seeking redress to be direct, well-spoken and level-headed.

When she writes a complaint letter, "it's not that I'm angry," she said. "And I'm not trying to get things for free. They just need to know."

When companies do things right, Shanks says, they should know that, too. She even uses her poison pen to write compliments and thank-you notes.

And she's not about to be pounded down.

Reach Tanya Bricking at tbricking@honoluluadvertiser.com.