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The Honolulu Advertiser
Posted on: Tuesday, January 21, 2003

'Checkers and Pogo' kids had it all wrong

By Lee Cataluna
Advertiser Columnist

All across these Islands, whenever two or more gather to share in pupus, fellowship and a nice game of "remember before time when we was kids ... " inevitably the topic will arise.

"Those kids on 'Checkers and Pogo,' they had it all wrong."

Oh no, here we go.

Among the 30-something to 40-something local crowd, those who grew up watching the after-school children's show on KGMB between the years 1967-82, everyone seems to have a pet strategy for winning the games Checkers and, more often, Pogo, conducted with the studio audience.

Big among the critics is the old "eat the cracker and whistle" game. In this one, kids had to shove a stack of soda crackers into their mouths and chew, chew, chew. The first one able to produce a whistle won a prize. It made for some pretty graphic television.

The critique starts off like this: "First of all, I bet all of those kids didn't even know how whistle. But anyways, the kids would try to swallow first and then whistle."

Curtis, who has broached the subject full-throttle, shakes his head in disgust.

"That's not how. You gotta chew the cracker, don't swallow, but push the cracker to the sides of your cheeks."

Curtis demonstrates. Thank goodness there aren't any crackers handy.

"So what if when you whistle a lot of the cracker flies out? That's part of the game." (Eww, sounds like old school "Fear Factor.")

Even more savage is the review of the "doughnut hanging on a string."

"The stupid thing is that the kids would go right at it, straight on, so they would hit the doughnut and the thing would swing. Then they would spend their time trying to catch the thing while it was swinging in the air."

Again, a demonstration followed by a head shake.

"The key was to go from underneath so it doesn't swing. And that way, get the string holding on top."

Another game was the chew the bubble gum, first one to blow a bubble wins.

"That," according to Curtis, "you gotta just chew the gum and go. It's all skill."

And the pie-eating contest?

"They all shove their face in and they try bite, bite, bite. But if you took notice, the pie was only jello and whipped cream. That kind can just suck."

Of course, the granddaddy of all, the game that has been described, detailed and dissected in countless memoirs through the years: the Merry Un-Birthday pennies in the party hat game. Everyone thinks they now know the secret to score big on that one.

But the question remains, could all these armchair cracker and pie-eating warriors perform these grand schemes under pressure?

"OK," Curtis admits, "I'm just another frustrated guy who never made it to the show. Talk to the ones who were on — I bet you they would say was harder than it looked."

Lee Cataluna's column runs Tuesdays, Fridays and Sundays. Reach her at 535-8172 or lcataluna@honoluluadvertiser.com.