EXPRESSIONS OF FAITH
Insight makes you do right
By the Rev. Bruce Y. Nakamura
Now that he was really ill, it meant even more for her that he should convert. After all, it was for his own good: to save his soul.
In keeping with the ways of his ancestors, why should he question? Confined to his hospital bed, hearing his persistent daughter exhorting him to abandon his ways, he wondered what he had done to deserve this. His wife only whispered her disapproval every time the daughter left, having assaulted him with Scripture.
The daughter brought along her pastor and other strangers who'd all say, "The reason you are ill is that you have lost your way." His daughter seemed like a stranger, too — an unrelenting stock trader who dealt in the commodity of souls.
Where was her filial piety ? Did we not give her everything and more? Were we not loving parents doing our best? Have we not suffered enough for our children?
He finally relented, gave in to her demand. For him, wasn't that the most loving thing a parent could do? Peace in the family in this life and the next exacts the highest price. Now, if only she'd leave him alone.
In her way of thinking, she saved him from damnation. She was doing the work of her God. It was the most loving thing she could do for her parents. Now they'll never be separated; they can be together in heaven forever.
At first glance, this seems natural. Parents become old. They must give in to the wishes of their children. It can't be helped — shikata ga nai. Parents must tolerate all sorts of humiliation.
He got better and left the hospital. Back in his home, she gave him no peace. Now she would tell him that his life was saved by his new God so he must follow through with the promise he made.
This is a real account. Typical, in fact, of the way parents and children treat each other.
It is the recounting of an ancient theme that we meditate upon through the Bon season. It speaks of how our profound attachment to loved ones causes us to endure the state of the ravenous ghost, gaki, whose endless hunger and thirst go unsatisfied.
This creature tries to feed himself, but before food enters his mouth, it turns into flames. His body is withered. But this living skeleton has a belly swollen from the burning inside.
Our attachments to our loved ones reflect a deeper love for ourselves and our self-views. One loves and cherishes oneself first, selfish as that may be. The problem of delusion is that if we keep denying, we're not aware of it anymore. Finding insight is self-deflating and very painful. But we then see why and how we come to express love for others in the way we do, very often in hurtful ways.
In making this discovery, we see with a renewed clarity that allows us to choose how to translate impulses and feelings into deeds. That is how we must truly try to love, cherish and honor ourselves and others around us.
Whether it be the love for our parents or the love for our God, we should be especially careful. It could lead us to a living hell because we just can't see what it does to us.
The Rev. Bruce Y. Nakamura is the resident minister of Jikoen Hongwanji Mission.
