By Yasmin Anwar
Advertiser Editorial Writer

And so it came to pass that the most discriminating of U.S. newspapers tittered at the American invasion of British soccer star/style icon David Beckham and his perpetually tanned "Essex girl" wife, Victoria, formerly known as Posh Spice.

The question posed in the style section of the New York Times and similarly snooty arbiters of fashion was: Will the United States bend to the Beckhams?

Only, in speculating about the trans-Atlantic ambitions of the over-exposed British celebrity couple, they gave them exactly what they wanted: an entree. And that really rubbed me the wrong way, because I thought America was safe from "Becks" and "Posh."

I mean, here we are in the afterglow of the Fourth of July, celebrating independence from Britain. Yet where's freedom when Posh and Becks are worming their way into "all the news that's fit to print"?

"Posh n Becks fail to impress America," declared the headline on a Reuters story last month about how the couple was ending a three-week visit to the United States "as anonymous as when they arrived."

"Don't Come Beck," warned the New York Post.

They will.

As celebrity royalty, some might argue, the Beckhams are no different than J-Lo and Ben, or Brad and Jennifer.

But trust me; America's sweethearts like a little privacy now and then. By most accounts, Becks and Posh don't.

While other celebrities flee the paparazzi, this tabloid-friendly duo, who reside in a Hertfordshire mansion known as Beckingham Palace, can't live without them. Not a day goes by in Britain without one or the other striking a studied impromptu pose on the cover of popular rags Hello or OK!

And now, with his $41 million transfer from Manchester United to Real Madrid, Becks is everywhere. He's so famous in Japan that when he changes his hairdo, thousands of his male fans rush to mimic his coif. Like boxer Mike Tyson, his falsetto belies his virility. But then again, he's not looking for a speaking part. He's just a modern dad comfortable with his feminine side.

Meanwhile, his questionably talented wife endeavors to resurrect some sort of post-Spice Girls pop/fashion career adorned with bodices and other Victorian brothel-inspired attire that emphasizes her coordinates. When asked about the Beckhams' purchase of an island off the coast of Essex, Posh questioned whether Essex had a coast, exhibiting a stunning ignorance of geography.

The Beatles they are not.

Deserving or not, though, the Beckhams mean to become a brand name in the United States. Why, they've already landed coveted spots on the "Tonight Show," "20/20," the MTV film awards and a spread in People magazine.

And after moving to the middle of the Pacific Ocean to escape Beckhamania, here I am giving them ink. See how tricky they are?