FOOD FOR THOUGHT
Seeking tales about your weird snacks

By Wanda A. Adams
Advertiser Food Editor

We call them secret foods — those things you snack on when no one is around and hesitate to reveal to even the people closest to you.

Frozen raw cookie dough used to qualify, but now it's easy to find in the ice-cream compartment.

We've all heard about Elvis' peanut butter, bacon and banana sandwiches. My grandpa liked ketchup on papaya for a midnight snack (except for him, it was a 9:30 p.m. snack, because he was always in bed by 10). I had a roommate once who dipped gherkins in jelly (we parted company amicably, but I've never been able to eat grape jelly since). My best friend dips french fries in a mixture of ketchup and mayonnaise.

I admit to having dipped tuna sandwiches in X-Change Orangeade when I was a kid, but I got therapy for it, and, one day at a time through the grace of God, I'm over that now.

My other best friend's mother used to call my friend's snacks "messes": bowls full of mixed-up ingredients. They were her favorite meal. There'd be some kind of grain or noodle, bits of leftover this and that from the fridge, maybe some warmed-up gravy or a drizzle of some kind of dressing. Some of the combinations were very odd, and they really did look a mess, but CJ ate them with relish. And still does.

All of which made it a delight to come across Ron Wiggins' "Weird Snacks" (Andrews McMeel, paper, $8.95), a collection of culinary True Confessions compiled from 28 years of Weird Snacks contests he organized at the Palm Beach Post.

It was delightful because, compared to some of these people, even the King of Rock 'n' Roll was a mere dabbler.

Consider these:

• Rice Chex coated with mayonnaise and shoyu.
• Lime juice on hot dogs.
• Potato-chip sandwiches (mayo, mustard, ketchup, sour cream, cream cheese and a liberal layer of potato chips).
• Very sharp cheddar dipped into cherry jam (no other jam works, they say).
• Very ripe avocado, mashed, with sweetened condensed milk.
• Cheez Whiz on lettuce leaves.
• Beer on chocolate cake (it has to be good beer and good cake, they say).
• Hot sauce on crackers. Or hot sauce on tuna on crackers.
• Corn flakes with Cool Whip.

But here, Islanders, is the ultimate abomination. I hesitate to even expose you to this in the early-morning hours: Leftover white rice. Butter. Maple syrup. Microwave.

Got a weird food preference or favorite snack you're willing to share? I'd love to hear about it. Write to wadams@honoluluadvertiser.com. But you're gonna have to work to best the ones in Wiggins' book.