Dark days on beach — with a ray of hope
By Will Hoover
Advertiser Leeward O'ahu Writer
Each day Donnalynn Brzezowski tries to put the pieces of her life back together. It is never easy.
Bruce Asato • The Honolulu Advertiser
The eyes of the homeless mother have seemed perpetually red from weeping since the Friday evening three weeks ago when her husband and youngest child were struck and killed in a crosswalk on Farrington Highway in Wai'anae. The two were on their way to get a birthday cake.
Roman Brzezowski, an Army sergeant stationed in Texas, is back to comfort his homeless mother, Donnalynn Brzezowski, whose husband and son were fatally struck by a van in Wai'anae. His new tattoo is a tribute to his father.
The Brzezowskis — including five of their seven children — lived in two tents on the beach for the past year.
Since the accident, in the midst of overwhelming sorrow, there have been some good moments. Brzezowski has found steadfast support from her six remaining children, her parents and relatives — some of whom she hasn't seen for years.
She has been particularly buoyed by the unexpected outpouring of concern from the community at large — including many strangers. Two memorial funds have been established for the family, donations have been collected at schools and other locations, and a benefit concert has been scheduled in Wai'anae on Aug. 24.
"In all of this, I hope Donna and her family will have a better life," said Cherylann Perry, a cousin who helped to coordinate many of the funeral activities. "I know she is grateful in a thousand ways for all that people have done to show such love for them.
"I have never seen a miracle before. But I would say that this is a miracle."
Part of the miracle includes the strengthening of bonds. Brzezowski's son Roman, 21, an Army sergeant stationed at Fort Hood, Texas, said he had never known Perry well before he returned home to comfort his mom. Now, he and Perry have become close. Friends and long-lost relatives from as far away as New England have contacted the family.
Meanwhile, police continue to investigate the circumstances under which Brzezowski's husband, Paul, 48, and son Matthew, 7, were hit by a 1986 Dodge van driven by a 56-year-old 'Aiea man. Investigators have not determined the speed of the van, but they say alcohol was not a factor and no charges have been filed.
Donnalynn Brzezowski's oldest daughter, Donna, 22, who was in her tent on the beach not far from where the tragedy occurred, remembers running to the scene to find her father in a pool of blood on the highway with a sheet pulled over him. By that time Matthew had been taken to the emergency room at the Wai'anae Coast Comprehensive Health Center, where he later was pronounced dead.
"Eyewitnesses told me that my dad had tried to shield Matthew from the impact," she said.
Ashes committed to sea
On Sunday, about 200 people gathered as the ashes of Paul and Matthew were scattered at sea in a service at Poka'i Bay. There were prayers of compassion and forgiveness; there were songs both solemn and rousing.
Pastor Hiram Simeona of the Jesus Christ Nazareth Full Gospel Church in Kalihi, where the Brzezowski family once lived, praised Donnalynn's strength.
"Our sister is not letting her heart be troubled," he told the gathering. "But, she is still hurting."
The oldest Brzezowski son, Paul, 24, who lives on Kaua'i, told the gathering at the end of the service: "It's OK to enjoy yourself — it's OK to smile again."
At funeral services two days earlier, an equal number of family, friends and well-wishers filed quietly past the two open caskets at the Kane'ohe Mission Baptist Church. Lying there, husband Paul looked at peace. A blue 'ukulele had been tucked by young Matthew's side.
"He wanted to be a musician," said Sylvia McShane, the boy's grandmother. "He loved the 'ukulele."
Out in the church corridor, on a 3-by-4 foot easel, dozens of family photos had been taped, including numerous snapshots of the ever-grinning, bright-eyed Matthew, and wedding pictures of Paul and Donnalynn at Makapu'u Beach on March 4, 1978.
The photos, which span more than a quarter-century, depict the story of a close-knit family sharing good times. In most, family members are seen laughing and having fun. Paul, who worked for nearly two decades for the city's automotive equipment services, is seen engaged in activity with his wife and seven children.
But somewhere along the way, the smiles dimmed as the family fell on hard times. There are indications of increasing difficulties. According to records at the state Criminal Justice Data Center, Paul was convicted four times between 1995 and 2002 — three times for misdemeanor family abuse and once for assault and terroristic threatening.
Hardship after loss of job
Last year, according to Donnalynn, "Paul was terminated from his job for personal reasons." After that, she said, they fell on such financial hard times that the family ended up leaving their home on Wa'apuhi Street and settling on the beach.
Paul's official autopsy report shows that while no drugs or alcohol were found in his blood, a urine drug screen tested positive for methamphetamine.
"Who are we to judge?" said Patty Teruya, who has tried to find assistance for the family. "This can happen to anyone. More than ever, this family needs our help."
Donnalynn, 46, says she has been stunned by the kindness so many people have shown her. But she also worries that others will be judgmental.
Not long after Paul and Matthew were killed, she said, a woman who claimed to be a relative of the driver of the van began harassing her with cruel words on the beach — an incident that upset her profoundly, she said.
She is unemployed. She remains homeless and has been unsuccessful in finding transitional housing for herself and the four children who live on the beach. She has heard that if she accepts donation money, it could mean the end of her food stamps. She says the insurance company representing the driver of the van has offered $20,000 to settle, but she doesn't know whether she should take it.
Sometimes, overwhelmed by it all, she breaks down and weeps. Most often, though, she'll sigh, regain her composure and her resolve, then speak of maintaining faith and hope — finding a better future for her family.
As she told Pastor Simeona when she asked him to conduct the Poka'i Bay services: "If I could make it through what I went through when he was alive, I can make it through this.
"Paul is in a better place."
Reach Will Hoover at whoover@honoluluadvertiser.com or 525-8038.
