Strategize before confronting the boss

By Anita Bruzzese
Gannett News Service

All right. You've had it. Enough is enough. You're going to confront the boss about (a) rude behavior; (b) jerky tendencies; and (c) apelike management techniques.

After sleeping on the idea, you decide that if you go forward with your plans, you could get yelled at, demoted or fired. You decide to swallow your frustrations once again. After all, who can confront the boss and live to tell the tale?

You can, with a little help from Elizabeth Gibson, who acknowledges that convincing a boss to change can be "challenging." As an organizational psychologist, Gibson has been on the front lines of companies striving to change the way things are done, and that has meant teaching employees to talk to bosses about destructive and hurtful behavior that has bottom line impact.

"Probably the hardest part of all this is looking at yourself and asking: 'How am I contributing to this?' " Gibson says. "This is not usually a one-sided problem."

Gibson suggests venting into a tape recorder, letting loose with all that pent-up hostility. Then, when you're calmer, there are several "arenas" to look at, including:

• The head. You need to understand how the boss thinks. Listen, ask questions and determine the boss's goals. Write down what you want changed and how that will affect your mutual success. Ask for a brief meeting (no longer than 20 minutes) to ask the boss about certain issues, building some rapport. Tell the boss you're trying to make sure you understand his/her goals.
• The heart. Determine how your suggestion is going to affect the boss's goals. What's in it for the boss?
• The hands. Get specific. Approach the boss when the person is receptive. Help the boss understand what needs to be done. Describe his behavior, its impact, and how it would be helpful to do X instead of Y. Carry a clipboard with paper when you meet the boss. "It can be powerful and enforcing to take notes, but ask permission first," Gibson says. "And make sure you maintain eye contact as much as possible."

Also, consider that you may not be the best person in an organization to confront a boss. "The person with the best rapport should talk to the boss, and carry the message as one of mutual problem-solving," Gibson says.

"The person who approaches the boss should always ask if it's a good time. Remember: timing, timing, timing."