ABOUT WOMEN
Staying in shape is tough; liking your shape can be even tougher

By Catherine E. Toth
Advertiser Staff Writer

It was one of those weeks.

No matter how much cardio I did, how few calories I consumed or how much black I wore, nothing made me feel I deserved the stringy blue bikini I just bought.

"What were you thinking?" I asked my naked reflection in the bathroom mirror, shaking my head. I was almost disappointed by a lack of common sense.

Since the eighth grade, I had been a slave to fitness magazines and diet schemes, trying to find a balance between a healthy lifestyle and Sunday brunch buffets.

But lately I've been confused.

While magazines shout at me the obvious benefits of Pilates and soy milk, they quietly stroke my floundering self-esteem with articles about loving your body and accepting your weight.

So which is it?

I read stories about strong, size-12 women who are proud of their bodies in the same magazines with pencil-thin supermodels demonstrating the proper way to wear a two-piece.

No wonder I look at myself in the mirror and wonder if it's a bad thing my inner thighs touch or a good thing I could squeeze someone to death with them.

While I have been seduced by the social benefits of being thin — wearing low-riders, getting free drinks — I could never sacrifice strength for shallow aesthetics. I would much rather hit a golf ball 150 yards on the fly with my 7-iron than look good in a peasant top. I could always find something else to wear.

But bulky shoulders and solid quads aren't exactly on the woman's list of coveted body parts.

I have always been intrigued by articles with experts saying it's OK to eat chocolate, don't deny your cravings, you can always work out tomorrow.

That has never worked for me.

I tried to love my body once, eating whatever I wanted, working out whenever I felt like it. It was great: I ate Spam musubis and pints of Mint Chip guilt-free. If I felt too tired to hit the gym, I went home instead, convincing myself that happiness should always come first.

A month into my new fitness feng shui, I had loved my body to 10 additional pounds. Since then, I decided to love my workouts instead.

But with the amount of cardio and strength training I do, you would think I was a competitive athlete, with rock-hard abs and limbs that could double as deadly weapons.

Hardly.

But I have never been one of the 46.9 million women in America who are considered overweight or obese. Or the 25 percent of U.S. adults who say they do absolutely no physical activity at all in their leisure time.

But I do belong to a growing group of women who have a misperception about their weight and body.

According to the U.S. National Center for Health Statistics, nearly 48 percent of women within a normal weight range think they weigh too much.

Or maybe they don't know what to think anymore.

It's not easy to stay in shape. But it's much harder to find a shape you actually like.

Reach Catherine E. Toth at 535-8103 or ctoth@honoluluadvertiser.com.