Tube Notes

By Mike Hughes
Gannett News Service

Tonight's Must-See

"Ellen DeGeneres: Here and Now," 7 p.m., HBO. In the Jerry Seinfeld style Ellen DeGeneres is a master of the miniscule. She quickly offers what she calls "my token lesbian joke." Then it's on to what she does best — great humor based on the commonplace. DeGeneres aims at packagers. They carefully pack unbreakable batteries but not light bulbs. She talks about cell phones and reminisces about the old phone days, "when cord had just been invented" and they only gave you a few inches of it. She ponders the notion of no-hands phones, allowing you to do something else. "If it really requires two hands, shouldn't your brain be involved?" She admires the wisdom of anti-depressants being advertised during depressing newscasts. She also wonders about news anchors whose minds turn to mush whenever a weatherman is present. "When are you going to give us some sun?" the suddenly addled anchor will ask. DeGeneres suggests a reply: "When you do something about the carjackings."

Of Note

"The 6th Day" (2000). 7 p.m., ABC. A bad guy (Tony Goldwyn) plans to kill Arnold Schwarzenegger and replace him with a clone. When Schwarzenegger survives, however, there are two of him. Sarah Wynter (then an unknown prior to "24") co-stars with Robert Duvall and Michael Rapaport.

"The District," 8 p.m., CBS. In this rerun, country star Lee Ann Womack plays a singer who has a stalker. Meanwhile, Mannion takes to the streets.

"The Agency," 9 p.m., CBS. Stiles (Jason O'Mara) is rescuing an informant in this rerun when he learns he may have a son.

"Dragnet," 9 p.m., ABC. This so-so show steps into a Saturday spot for reruns. Tonight, an esteemed family is under suspicion; Sandra Bernhard plays a tabloid reporter who may have key info.

"Saturday Night Live," 10:30 p.m., NBC. Brittany Murphy hosts with music by Nelly.