Lifetime love affair sealed with aloha kiss
By Curtis Lum
Advertiser Staff Writer
Robert and Nancy Vallesteros had been a couple pretty much since they met in the first grade on the Big Island. So maybe it was to be expected that when Robert was diagnosed with terminal cancer eight weeks ago, his wife of 63 years would want to be sure he wouldn't be alone in death.
Deborah Booker • The Honolulu Advertiser
On March 12, Nancy Vallesteros visited her dying husband for the last time and kissed him goodbye. The next day, she died peacefully at her home. The following day, Robert passed away at the St. Francis Hospice.
Ronald Vallesteros lost both his parents last week. Robert and Nancy Vallesteros, grade school sweethearts who were married for 63 years, died within hours of each other — but not before Nancy gave one last kiss to her terminally-ill husband.
Both were 86.
"The beauty of it was (in all those years of marriage) I never saw her kiss my father until the night before she passed away," said the couple's only child, Ronald. "She kissed my father and said, 'I love you very much,' and the next day she was gone. There's something there. I don't know what it is, but I believe it's something."
That Robert and Nancy would die within hours of each other came as no surprise.
Robert was born in the Philippines and moved to the Big Island when he was 6 years old. In the first grade, he met Nancy Mizuno and the two had been together ever since.
"She was so concerned about him suffering so much, maybe she felt it was time for her to go and to prepare for him so when he gets there he's comfortable," Ronald Vallesteros said. "I believe that."
Vallesteros said he believes this because his mother had suffered from dementia and realized only three days before her death that her husband would not survive. Until then, he said, his mother did not seem to grasp her husband's condition.
Vallesteros family photo
When Robert was hospitalized, Ronald brought his mother to live with him in his Mililani home. Ronald said she made a "180-degree" turn and got stronger, walked without her cane, and her memory returned.
Robert and Nancy Vallesteros, left, are photographed at the wedding of their only son, Ronald, who married Vera Fujinaka in 1970. The bride's parents, Edith and Tony Fujinaka, are at right.
"That was the best three weeks of my life. She gave me that. I had a lot of fun with her. She started opening up and talking to me," Ronald said. "My dad also told me, 'You've been like a friend to me and for the last three months you're a son again.' "
Robert Vallesteros worked as a supply supervisor at Schofield Barracks and Nancy was a waitress at King's Bakery.
Ronald said his parents worked hard and didn't have much time to spend with him when he was young.
But that all changed when Ronald's two children were born.
"Whatever time that my parents could give me, they did. It wasn't much, because they were trying to earn a living," Ronald said. "But when my kids came, they had a good time. They took the kids to Disney World, back East. They spent a lot of time with them. It was unconditional love to my kids."
The couple also traveled a lot and enjoyed going to Las Vegas. But seven weeks ago, after Robert complained of leg pain, his doctors discovered cancerous tumors.
The family was told the cancer was terminal. Robert spent the last three weeks in the hospital and the hospice.
Ronald said his parents were caring, giving people who were nice to everyone.
"They worked hard, they had fun and they did everything they needed to do," he said.
In addition to Ronald and his children, Robert Vallesteros is survived by three brothers. Nancy Vallesteros is survived by two brothers and four sisters.
Visitation for the two will be from 8:30 a.m. to 1:30 p.m. tomorrow at Borthwick Mortuary; service at 11:30 a.m.; burial at 2 p.m. at Hawaiian Memorial Park.
