Teens booze, parents lose

By Mary Kaye Ritz
Advertiser Religion & Ethics Writer

Illustration by Jon Orque • The Honolulu Advertiser MADD facts With prom and graduation parties just around the corner, these statistics from Mothers Against Drunk Driving literature are timely: Surveys of youths show that they most commonly find alcohol at their own homes or get it from adults who buy it for them. One-third of sixth- and ninth-graders get alcohol from their own homes. Seventy-nine percent of all high-school students have tried alcohol at least once. More than half of all underage students report that alcohol is "very easy to obtain."

The bill, which makes adults liable when they allow people under the age of 21 to drink alcohol and those drinkers harm others, is on Gov. Linda Lingle's desk now.

Sandra and Kelvin Kawamura support a crackdown on adults who knowingly give underage drinkers alcohol. They aren't big drinkers, and they'd like their daughter, Shelby, a sophomore at Moanalua High, to be the same.

The Halawa-area homeowners, however, aren't so sure they should be held liable.

"I know kids do drink" behind their parents' backs, said Watanabe, the mother of a Castle High junior. She doesn't like it, but "as a parent, I wouldn't know how to stop it."

That's the crux of the worry for many parents of teens. It's not that they approve of underage drinking. But they aren't sure they have the ability to wipe it out.

SB 1234 won't necessarily create liability for a host every time a teen surreptitiously sneaks a drink on the premises. But it raises the specter of legal responsibility: The bill finds an adult liable if he or she "sells, furnishes, provides alcoholic beverages to (anyone under 21); or owns, occupies, or controls premises on which alcoholic beverages are consumed by ... (anyone under 21), who knows of alcohol consumption by ... (anyone under 21) on such premises, and who reasonably could have prohibited or prevented such alcohol consumption."

It would make Hawai'i the 32nd state to have a law that makes "social hosts" liable when they serve alcohol or allow drinking.

Carol McNamee, the vice president of public policy on MADD's national board, said SB1234 is one of the more middle-of-the-road measures, as it deals only with drinking by minors.

The aim is to stop underage drinking, said Donna Gutierrez, youth programs manager for MADD-Hawaii.

"It's a parent's responsibility to know who attends the party and to monitor who's drinking and who's not drinking, because ultimately, they're saving lives," Gutierrez said. "... A lot of people don't realize alcohol-related crashes among teenagers is one of the leading causes of death. They don't realize it's a problem unless it directly affects them."

That makes sense to the Kawamuras, in theory at least, but they have reservations about the age limits.

Say, for example, you bought a six-pack of Uncle Remos' favorite brew, since he's already RSVP'd for the grad party. Later, you see a young man — who could be 23 or, then again, he could be 20 — walking around with one of Uncle Remos' pale ales. Do you take it out of his hand?

"The age factor is significant," said Sandra Kawamura, adding that she'd feel very uncomfortable asking for IDs from anyone 18 to 21. "If they're old enough to go to war ..."

Dana Davidson, a family resources professor at the University of Hawai'i-Manoa, calls the potential impact of the proposed measure "enormous."

In Davidson's view, the law requires a sea change in parents' typical behavior.

"It would require huge supervisory changes in parents of adolescents," she said.

Sandra Kawamura suggested other ways to keep underage people from drinking and driving: "Beef up on the prevention programs. DARE isn't continued past eighth grade. They need to see the harsh realities of what drinking and driving can do."

Those with substance-abuse problems say their first facilitators often were their parents, who made alcohol or drugs available, said Davidson. Her grandmother, an alcoholic, has memories as a preschooler of emptying leftover cups of booze after a party — but not down the drain. Into her mouth.

Back in the day when Davidson hosted parties for her son, now 25, and daughter, now 23, she never allowed drinking under her very nose. However, afterward, she said, empty beer bottles were found outside the house and even on the roof of the carport.

Real-life changes will be part of the effort, Davidson predicted, suggesting that it might be wise to not only designate a bouncer to check IDs at a party, but make periodic checks of the driveway and roof — even if it's humbug.

State Sen. Suzanne Chun Oakland, D-13th (Kalihi, Nu'uanu), said the measure was modified during hearings to make it less onerous for parents who do not know underage drinking is happening on their property.

Like other teens interviewed for this story, the Kawamuras' daughter, Shelby, said she couldn't think of a single parent who lets teenagers drink at home. Kalaheo High college counselor April Inouye, however, knows differently: "I hear stories from students."

In a phone interview, a mother of two high-schoolers (the mother asked to remain anonymous so she wouldn't be criticized by her neighbors) said she lets kids drink at her house. The reason? She won't buy alcohol for them, but she expects them to be exposed to it, and she'd rather be able to exert some parental control: "I'd rather they be in a place where there's adult supervision instead of at the beach, where they might be getting into fights. Under adult supervision, I can make sure there's a designated driver. If they don't have one, I make 'em stay the night."

McNamee, founder of MADD-Hawaii, worries about parents who countenance such drinking.

"Although she thinks she can have total control, that might not be correct," she said. "By actually allowing the drinking to occur in her home, when they sleep over, someone could get up in the night. I think the idea of 'If I allow it in my home, that's going to be OK, that's a safe place' is authorizing the drinking, in a way."

McNamee said changing behavior is no easy task.

"We think 'preventing underage drinking' rather than 'decreasing and ending drinking and driving,' because we have to change behaviors, to encourage young people who want to drink to wait until they're 21 and older," she said. "We need to have the whole community, anyone who acts as guardian and role model, to help with the program. ... It's a hard thing, not a popular thing, but we have to start somewhere."

Counselors, teens, parents and experts agree Hawai'i residents will think twice before having a family party under such a law.

Davidson is concerned that the measure will "drive things under and out into more public places," she said, resulting in illegal parties on the beach or at parks.

"It's going to change everything, really," the professor said. "You almost couldn't have (a family party) if there was a chance kids could access liquor. ... For one thing, who wants to stand by the ice chest at a party? It's harder still to challenge people and say no."

However, Davidson, who was recently struck by a hit-and-run driver, says she appreciates the intent of the proposed law.

Lawyer Bob Toyofuku, who worked with MADD to modify the bill, said yesterday that earlier drafts were even tougher. Under the modified measure, someone has to prove the adult knew underage drinking was happening.