By Ferd Lewis
Advertiser Columnist

You chant their names, wear their jerseys and wave signs in their honor.

And just like the student-athletes who took their finals this week at the University of Hawai'i, it is now time for you, the student-athlete-fan, to be tested on your recall of the issues of the school year.

So, grab a pencil, give it your best shot and remember to keep your eyes on your own paper. (Or, transfer to Fresno State, where somebody can do the paper for you.)

You may correct your own paper, but if you miss more than two, consider yourself on academic probation and in danger of missing the Appalachian State game.

1. Two men's basketball players, Nkeruwem "Tony" Akpan and Ikaika Alama-Francis, left the team in the spring. Where did they go?

(a) To try out for "American Idol."

(b) To tryout for football.

(c) To help clean up Lake Wilson.

(d) To open a Golden Corral.

2. Why was the football team without a defensive coordinator this spring?

(a) It is holding a spot open for Cal Lee when he's finished with that arena league.

(b) Kevin Lempa took the playbook with him and won't give it back.

(c) To confuse Pat Hill during his visit.

(d) Because the defense is supposed to be so good it won't need a coordinator.

(e) Mike Price was occupied.

3. What is holding up completion of June Jones' contract renewal?

(a) His demand that the Warriors no longer schedule teams that run the option.

(b) Clause that says he has to be nice to WAC officials this year.

(c) He wants to ride his Harley into the stadium like they do at Texas-El Paso.

(d) The fine print says he can only go for it on fourth down plays of 2 yards or less.

(e) The Treasury department's introduction of new counterfeit-proof currency has forced UH to reconsider how it will pay for his raise.

4. Athletic director Herman Frazier says he is considering conduct clauses for the contracts of coaches. It will prohibit:

(a) Staggering through frat parties on the road.

(b) Endorsing gubernatorial candidates.

(c) Any behavior that ends up in a "Coaches Gone Wild" video.

(d) Publicly making fun of school logo candidates.

5. The spookiest sight at the Stan Sheriff Center this year was:

(a) The legion of cellophane headband-wearing Brian Nordberg look-alikes.

(b) Riley Wallace dressed as "Fat Bastard" at Midnight Ohana.

(c) Mike Wilton doing the haka on Senior Night.

(d) Any of the above.

Answers: 1. (b) 2. (a) 3. It is anybody's guess. 4. (c). 5. (d).