By Michael Tsai
Advertiser Staff Writer

Know what an über-vamp is?

I do.

I also know all about watchers, slayers, Scoobies, potentials, the First, vengeance demons, the Hellmouth, and a host of other stuff other self-respecting males wouldn't admit to knowing.

I know these things not just because I am a dork, but because I am a dork who watches "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" — faithfully.

There.

I'm out.

Paint a "B" on my forehead.

It's not that watching Buffy, which wrapped up a seven-year run on the WB and UPN this weekend, carries that much stigma anymore. Critics over the last couple of years have made a clear distinction between the throwaway 1992 movie starring Kristy Swanson and the strangely mature television series starring Sarah Michelle Gellar. The show has become so well regarded, in fact, that more than a few entertainment columnists complained when it wasn't nominated for an Emmy last year.

And what's not to like? There isn't a show on television with better writing.

The premise (Buffy is the latest in a lineage of young women destined to protect the world from evil baddies) and the plot lines (an apocalypse, global or personal, threatens just about every season) are purely fantastic, but creator Joss Whedon has populated the show with real,

human characters — characters that, like Shakespeare's Mercutio, pre-emptively acknowledge the absurdity of situations with wit and a wink.

In Buffy, we also have a perfect post-modern feminist heroine, one who balances her superhuman strength with all-too-common frailties. She frets, she snaps, she has house-rocking escapist sex with a Billy Idol-lookalike vampire. And while Buffy the Vampire Slayer might have the guts to stare down an evil demigod, Buffy the college dropout has no marketable job skills and is forced to spend a season flipping burgers at a fast-food joint.

It's easy to see why women might take to the show. Unlike Xena, the exaggerated superheroine who rarely lacked confidence, Buffy demonstrates that women can be strong, assured leaders without having to be perfect and without having to subvert their feelings.

But guys also have cause to appreciate Buffy. The male characters here (as with all the characters) are ambiguous, complex, textured figures. They're more than the piggy oafs or touch-feely good guys you find in other female-themed shows.

Even Giles, the watcher assigned to guide Buffy, has his stereotypical role as paternalistic second unraveled as Buffy slowly outgrows him.

Still, cult fave or not, the show hasn't inspired a lot of men to come forward in its defense.

That's too bad. Judging from all those "Buffy-dude" posts on the Buffy spoiler sites, there are a lot of male fans out there.

Wait.

Oh, God.

I just admitted that I visit Buffy spoiler sites.

I'm going to watch "SportsCenter" now.