Idle thoughts

• The Wedding Planner's Web log

By Tanya Bricking
Advertiser Staff Writer

Monday, Nov. 10, 2003

Update on the deployment situation: It appears to be a matter of when (and not if) my fiancé is going to be deployed. The good news? He's not on the rotation to leave in February, so we can be blissful newlyweds a little longer.

I'm not sure what's going to happen after that. The only sure thing seems to be that plans change. Maybe we'll be moving next fall to his next assignment, or maybe I'll be staying here worrying about him flying helicopters over Iraq. No sense fretting about it now.

I've got plenty of other things to fill my idle thoughts, like unfinished wedding programs, work I need to finish before I go on vacation and what I'm going to pack for my honeymoon.

My thoughts also are cluttered with bits of songs ("Sunrise, Sunset" is the track replaying at the moment) and concerns that it might have been a mistake to volunteer to host Thanksgiving for our families (who have never met) two days before the wedding. The catered turkey-to-go packages are looking pretty good.

It eases my mind that I am not the only soon-to-be-married person with such trivial wedding-y burdens.

I've spent weeks envying my colleague, the guy who sits next to me and is getting married next month. He's been practically engaged in secret. I've barely heard him talk about it in the office. I guess it's just not a thing men discuss. But I heard his rage when he lashed out at a problem vendor on the phone one afternoon. I was silently cheering him on. He even wrote a column about his involvement in the wedding negotiations. Finally, I didn't feel like the only one venting in public.

I also felt strangely validated by a frantic e-mail I just read from a friend who's getting married Saturday and is trying to book a different band at the last minute. I can feel her pain. It's exactly how I felt in the middle of my catering crisis a few weeks ago.

But she's come up with some options and is ready for Plan B. That's the spirit. It's good to know these things have a way of working out.

As much as brides-to-be can learn from tips about how to plan the perfect wedding, sometimes it's better to hear how people get themselves out of jams. I see it as preparing for "for better or for worse." Pre-wedding problems help you gauge how your significant other will react when the "worse" part comes around.

It puts things in perspective and makes the "better" part look even better.

Tanya Bricking writes about relationships for The Advertiser. Keep up with her wedding blogs while they last. They'll be posted on Tuesdays and Fridays through Nov. 21. After that, she's taking off to tie the knot.

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