The cat comes calling

By Jack Garner
Gannett News Service

DR. SEUSS' THE CAT IN THE HAT (PG) Two Stars (Fair) Comedian Mike Myers channels a lot of Austin Powers, Dr. Evil and The Wizard of Oz's Cowardly Lion — and not nearly enough of the whimsical charms of Dr. Seuss himself. That's just one reason the live-action comic fantasy disappoints, unless you're a relentless Mike Myers fan. Bo Welch directs. Warner Bros., 82 minutes.

"The Cat in the Hat" isn't exactly kitty litter. The imaginative pastel production design, a few legitimately funny moments, and another remarkable performance from 9-year-old Dakota Fanning help the film avoid total disaster.

Nonetheless, it remains a clunky enterprise that shifts tones willy-nilly, jumping from snippets of Seuss poetry to baser forms of humor, including gross-out toilet jokes and even a few misplaced bits of sexual innuendo. And though humans can sometimes act amusingly like cartoons, this is a reminder that it's not easy. Some material would be better served if it had been a cartoon. (For example, except for Fanning, the only consistently entertaining star in "The Cat in the Hat" is the computer-generated goldfish.)

"The Cat in the Hat" is produced by Imagine — the company run by Ron Howard and Brian Grazer that made "How the Grinch Stole Christmas." This time, Howard hands over direction to Bo Welch, who makes his debut after a substantial career as a Hollywood production designer. (Ah, that's why production design is "The Cat's" strong suit.)

The 1957 Seuss book, the first of his rhyming classics, told of two young children who mess up their home beyond all recognition after they're enticed by a pesky, playful, poetic cat that sports a red-and-white-stripe stovepipe hat.

Fanning and Spencer Breslin play the children — Sally and Conrad. The latter youngster is fine, but Fanning is remarkable, given her age. As she demonstrated in "I Am Sam," opposite Sean Penn, Fanning is surprisingly subtle, mature and believable; she acts way beyond her single-digit years.

The screenwriters create additional characters to fill out the film, particularly the nefarious Mr. Quinn (Alec Baldwin), who was apparently created to give the tale a legitimate villain. They also expand the role of the mother (Kelly Preston). Quinn tries to sweet-talk her, with an eye toward marriage. However, he's also determined to send Conrad off to military school.

Actually, I think the filmmakers invented Quinn and made him such a creep just so they could "slime" him with gallons of purple goo in the film's messy finale.

The additions and embellishments are designed to expand what would probably only be a 20-minute short into a feature film. Instead, they weigh down "The Cat in the Hat." Maybe next time filmmakers tackle Seuss they'll create an anthology film with three or four shorter tales, united by a storyteller.

Clearly, "The Cat in the Hat" wasn't meant to be a feature. Or as the good doctor might have said:

Less is more, says the Cat in the Hat. Why embellish Seuss just to make 'em fat?

Rated PG, with bathroom humor, innuendo.

'Cat in the Hat' looks to match 'Grinch' success

A smart-aleck fish is among many special effects that are a large part of the film's production. Rhythm & Hues

Mike Myers plays the mischievous feline in the red-and-white cap in "Dr. Seuss' Cat in the Hat," based on the book by Theodor Geisel. Melinda Sue Gordon

That was the philosophy the filmmakers followed to transform the simple whimsy of "Dr. Seuss' The Cat in the Hat" into a candy-colored, in-your-face comedy starring Mike Myers as the mischievous feline in a towering red-and-white cap.

Director Bo Welch said Myers designed the character himself, which meant ad-libbing jokes in an "Amazing Discoveries" infomercial parody, writing gags for his own independent-minded tail and contriving a voice.

"We agreed it would be a live-action cartoon, and talked about the sound," Welch said. "Everyone thinks they know what the Cat in the Hat should sound like, but no one has ever heard him."

The Myers performance suggests the Cat hails from New York, with a laid-back version of the urban Jewish accent he used playing Linda Richman in the "Saturday Night Live" sketch "Coffee Talk" (or "Cawwfee Tawwk," as she pronounced it).

Other influences on the voice include the late director Bruce Paltrow, father of Gwyneth. There's a little bit of the fussy comedian Charles Nelson Reilly under that hat, too — plus some Burt Lahr, who played another famous cat: the Cowardly Lion in "The Wizard of Oz."

"It's that comforting, New York, 'don't worry' feeling," Welch said. "He wanted it to be like hearing your New York doctor say, 'Oh relax ... you'll be fine.' "

(Myers, who balks at all print interviews, refused to speak to the Associated Press.)

Apart from casting the lead, the filmmakers said they needed to craft a broader story.

There's no denying the 1957 tale is one tough tome to turn into a feature film: It's about two bored kids who learn how to have responsible fun on a rainy day, and has various plot holes — in its 61 pages of rhyme and drawings, the girl's name is mentioned (Sally) but not the boy's, for instance.

It was made into a television cartoon in 1971, but that was barely a half-hour. Producer Brian Grazer wanted something that could last roughly an hour and a half.

But the book by Theodor Geisel, who won a Pulitzer Prize writing under the moniker Dr. Seuss, is treasured by millions, and tinkering with its story is akin to challenging the childhood nostalgia of three generations.

The adjustments worked for most people in 2000, when Ron Howard directed Jim Carrey in "Dr. Seuss' How the Grinch Stole Christmas," which added pop-culture jokes, a history about the Grinch's childhood and subplots about the Whoville residents.

Some Seuss purists regarded that movie as crass, but it was a hit, earning $260 million domestically and becoming the year's highest-grossing movie.

Grazer, who also produced "The Grinch," sought to follow that movie's formula. He hired a team of three writers to adapt "Cat": Jeff Schaffer, Alec Berg and David Mandel, all former "Seinfeld" scribes who worked together on an uncredited rewrite of "The Grinch."

"We pitched it almost as a kid's version of 'Ferris Bueller's Day Off,' " Mandel said. "The book is a very perfect beginning, middle and end. We used it as a skeleton: Mom has to go out, kids are left home, cat comes to visit, house gets messed up, they kick out the cat, they clean it up, and get everything done before mom comes home."

The first step was giving the boy a name: Conrad.

Then they had to give the kids distinct personalities.

Conrad, played by Spencer Breslin, is a messy troublemaker who needs to learn responsibility, while his sister (Dakota Fanning) is an uptight goody-two-shoes who needs to loosen up.

Then the writers decided to get the cat and kids out of the house and into the neighborhood, where the furry star is mistaken for a pinata at a children's birthday party, and drives around the streets in the part-boat, part-airplane, part-jalopy Super Luxurious Omnidirectional Watchamajigger.

"You didn't want people sitting in their seats in a theater watching people sitting bored in the house," Schaffer said.

Most additions were made out of necessity, they said. Does mom (Kelly Preston) really leave the kids all alone for the day? That's what happens in the book.

The writers, fearing this might worry the audience, created a baby sitter: the deep, deep, deep sleeper Miss Kwan.

And for the sake of plot, why is it so important to keep the house immaculately clean?

Enter Mr. Humberfloob ("Will & Grace" co-star Sean Hayes). He is mom's obsessively fastidious boss, who is coming over that evening for a dinner party and fires anyone who isn't neat. Hayes also voices the story's computer-animated goldfish.

There is also a smattering of borderline raunchy humor, which is why "The Cat in the Hat" is rated PG instead of G. (At one point, The Cat picks up a muddy garden tool and sneers: "Dirty hoe ...")