THE NIGHT STUFF
'Goodness' soirees polite, hard to swallow
'Twas the night after Wonderlounge, and though the DJ spun no house
A whole lot of dressed-up peeps showed up at the W anyway
'Cause who said hooking up requires Basement Jaxx's "Jump N' Shout?"
By Derek Paiva
Advertiser Entertainment Writer
Scene One: We open on Blue Tropix at 11:30 p.m. on a Saturday night.
Female sophisticate: "Ewwww, hon! That hoochie's boyfriend dribbled Bud Light on my Prada!"
Male sophisticate: "If I was a lawyer instead of the top salesperson under 30 in my office working the hottest real estate market since Gensiro Kawamoto bought the Kaiser Estate, I'd sue this place for caging monkeys for entertainment purposes. There's got to be somewhere for us on a Saturday night."
I'm not whacking The Goodness. Truth is, I'm as thoroughly entertained by an evening of watching dressed-up sophisticates using all manner of charm to hook up as I am watching Gap shoppers like myself trying to drop a mack.
Scene Two: We open on an in-progress hookup at Diamond Head Grill, also at 11:30 p.m. on Saturday.
Another male sophisticate: "I've been making so much money lately, I'm probably gonna take a few months off (and) travel."
Another female sophisticate: "Wow! I knew the (real estate) market was hot right now, but ... (yadda, yadda, yadda)."
(The conversation continues through tasty beats, courtesy of The Neptunes, Panjabi MC and Beyoncé.)
Another male sophisticate: "And so I basically told the guy he was buying at the right ... (yadda, yadda, yadda)."
Janet Anit of 'Aiea deejays at The Goodness in the early hours.
Another female sophisticate: "Do you have a card?"
Schadenfreude at The Goodness? Not for this writer.
Still, props to The Goodness for attracting the most polite gathering of beautiful people I've ever had the pleasure of balancing two very full drinks across a room with. Everyone who thoughtfully parted while I navigated the half-mile back to my table from the bar Sacrilege! No table service! gets a round of tasty beverages gratis from yours truly. Who's with me for Club Pauahi?
Anyone? Anyone? Bueller?
Reach Derek Paiva at dpaiva@honoluluadvertiser.com or 525-8005.
The Goodness
Where: Diamond Head Grill, W Honolulu.
When: 10 p.m. to 2 a.m. Saturdays.
Our arrival/departure: 11:15 p.m./1 a.m.
Cover: $10.
Younger than 21 OK? No.
Age of crowd: 20s-30s.
What to wear: Unless you're Ludacris, make an effort to dress up.
Peak crowd while there: About 250 300.
Queue?: Yes.
The soundtrack: Urban and Top 40 hip-hop/ R&B.
Dance floors: Two.
Bathroom attendant holding paper towels hostage: Yes.
Scene One in test: Fiction.
Scene Two in text: Nonfiction.
"Schadenfreude:" According to Merriam Webster's Collegiate Dictionary, 1993 edition, "Enjoyment obtained from the troubles of others."
Basement Jaxx's "Jump N' Shout": Can be found on the house duo's much-recommended 1999 debut CD "Remedy." Also must-owns, 2001's "Rooty" and 2003's "Kish Kash."
Night Notes ...
Longhi's at Ala Moana Center offers up its first-ever after-hours club event: Star Bar, a Turkey Day eve DJ party, with San Francisco turntablist Mei Lwun. Organizing the Star Bar particulars: Double-O-Spot, Pussycat Projects, Doorman Productions and KomoLow.
FYI: The doorman, fashion-conscious Matty Hazelgrove, will award express entry to "people putting in the extra effort," so make him happy. Our advice: Dress warm for the crisp late fall trades sure to flow through Longhi's open-air environs. Starts 9 p.m. Wednesday, runs to 2 a.m. Entry is $10. Be 21 or older.
Another official Vans Triple Crown festive goes off Saturday as Breakers in Hale'iwa hosts the Hawaiian Pro Wrap Party. Expect hip-hop, house and soul from DJ Ian, prize giveaways and pros from the Hawaiian Pro. From 9 p.m. to 2 a.m., North Shore Marketplace. 21 and older.
Finally, we had to drop some props for Connect Four, a hip-hop/drum-n-bass weekly with the massive giblets to open on Thanksgiving night. Anyone needing an immediate post-dinner workout is advised to stop by The Velvet Lounge (formerly Grumpy's) with $5 after 10 p.m.
Happy Thanksgiving!