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The Honolulu Advertiser
Posted on: Sunday, November 23, 2003

FAMILY MATTERS
Dad tied up in knots answering those perfectly silly questions

By Michael C. DeMattos

Being a parent is truly astounding. It is a reciprocal relationship that rewards both parent and child. Still, at the end of a day I often wonder who learns more, my child or me.

It seems that as a parent, I often dabble in facts while my daughter is a teller of truths.

She seems to respond from a place untainted by the world around her. I, on the other hand, am often left trying to explain things I know little about.

This can often lead to trouble.

A few weeks ago my daughter asked me to define the word "literally." I explained that it meant by the letter. I added that we often use the word to describe something that actually happened. From the back seat I heard her say, "ooh!"

"What's wrong?" I asked

"The radio guy said that he literally laughed his head off." She said quizzically.

"Ooh!" I responded. Now, I do not like to talk down to my daughter, but was this the time to explain that the DJ was actually speaking figuratively?

This got me to thinking about the numerous other words and phrases that have tripped me up in the past. One that has bothered me for some time is the phrase "centered around."

I can just hear the corporate executive saying, "Our new marketing strategy is centered around the theory of floating debt."

How exactly is something both in the center and around? Is it not by definition in the middle rather than the periphery when it is centered? Or if around something, is it not impossible that it be in the middle.

I am confused. My daughter will be too, soon enough.

What about the sports figure who says "I have completely turned my life around; a complete 180."

If you turned completely around wouldn't that be a 360? You would be right back where you started. Wouldn't it be better to say that you have done an about-face, a true 180?

Maybe I am just nit-picking here, but you would too if you had to explain these things to a 6-year-old who is quickly going on 21.

I was at a meeting the other day and one of the participants shared that they try to give 110 percent. Is that possible? If 100 percent is everything, can you actually give more than that?

To be honest, I think most would settle for 90 percent. If it were a grade, it would still be an A.

I don't know, maybe I am taking this all a bit to seriously, but I am worried. How am I ever going to explain this crazy world of ours to my daughter when I do not even understand it myself?

I can't handle it. I have to change my ways; a complete 180. I can no longer give 110 percent or I may literally lose my mind. I cannot live a life centered around explaining the world to my daughter. She will have to make her own discoveries.

And my guess is, she will be the better for it.

Family therapist Michael C. DeMattos has a master's degree in social work.