By Bob Krauss
Advertiser Columnist

Let's test your brain cells today. We will discuss the "string theory" that explains everything. In particular, the string theory overcomes the contradiction between the theory of relativity and quantum mathematics.

Are you still with me? Don't give up. We're on the cutting edge of science. At least, that's what the scientists on a two-part "Nova" series said on public television recently.

When you get to be as old as I am, you start to realize that new scientific theories come along like new theories about diet. Each one broadens our understanding of the universe, but inevitably ends up with contradictions.

My question is, why make such a big fuss each time scientists come up with a new concept? It's getting to be like the hype for a new movie.

The fascinating thing about the shows on the string theory is that they illustrated the elasticity of mathematics. We think of mathematics as being pure and rigid. That's what makes it so elegant. But clever mathematicians can prove almost anything with numbers.

Each new theory is impregnable, until another one comes along. It's inevitable because, in the end, the formulas always become irrational.

What's different about the string theory, it seems to me, is that the scientists who believe in it have edged into science fiction. They ask us to take seriously a universe of extra dimensions, 11 so far, when only three seem real for us.

According to the string theory, we are trapped on a single membrane while surrounded by higher dimensions. It's a fascinating concept that explains a lot of extra-sensory phenomena. But how do you prove it? As one critic put it, "Is it just fancy mathematics or reality? Is it science or science fiction?"

Maybe it doesn't make much difference. I suspect that these scientific theories are as appealing to mathematicians today as religious doctrines were to monks in the Middle Ages. They satisfy our hunger to understand.

It is heartening to know that the most brilliant mathematicians in history are confronted with the same problem we all face. What's the answer? When I was in college, I wrote poetry. The best poem I ever wrote consisted of two lines: "I can't help but think. And thinking doesn't help."

However, I've discovered that thinking is fun. It's probably as exciting for me to think of a new way to describe something familiar as it is for a mathematician to dream up a new formula for reality. We're both manipulating the universe. So is a mother who teaches her child to read, and a mechanic who fixes a car.

I think science programs that elevate mathematical gymnastics to sacred revelation miss the fun of it.

Reach Bob Krauss at 525-8073, or bkrauss@honoluluadvertiser.com.