Counting their blessings
By Mary Kaye Ritz
Advertiser Staff Writer
The co-owner of India Cafe in Kapahulu is thankful for what he has in the United States. He sent money to his grandmother's village in India, helping to buy school uniforms for children. A picture of his grandmother, Muniammah, hangs in the restaurant. Deborah Booker • The Honolulu Advertiser
When they go around the table today at his grandmother's house, it's tradition for Jiva Segaran and other members of his family to say what each is thankful for.
Jiva Segaran
This year, Segaran, 25, co-owner of India Cafe in Kilohana Square, has something remarkable to say when it's his turn — over a plate piled high with Thanksgiving turkey and his dad's lamb curry — to give thanks.
He spent some time in a small village in Chengalput, near Madras, India, in August, part of his first trip back to India since he was 2, and wants to note the difference.
"Comparing the two lifestyles, you're thankful for what you have," he said.
As people gather today to assume an attitude of gratitude, several Hawai'i stories emerged as life- and hope-affirming tales of why Americans use this day to count their many blessings. They are stories of miracles and of everyday joy, of hope and of loss.
Segaran, who this month celebrated Diwali, a five-day Hindu festival about the triumph of good over evil, has plenty of everyday joy. But this Thanksgiving is the one with a distinctively American feel for him after he came face to face with poverty in India.
His restaurant, which keeps him busy Thursdays to Tuesdays, is full of Indian wares he brought back from his trip, and he and his family donate a portion of the profits to the people of the village.
"We went to the village, and people who don't have shoes were trying to give us stuff," he said, taking a break from his lunch-shift duties. "It made me appreciate my business" and appreciate being in a position to help.
Amy McMillan, 11 months, of Mililani Mauka, left, gets a kiss from her mom, Debra. Also pictured are brother Evan, 6; Amy's twin sister, Jade, and dad Banks. Rebecca Breyer • The Honolulu Advertiser
Growing family
The McMillan family
Debra McMillan of Mililani Mauka was doubly blessed this year.
In December, she gave birth to twins Amy and Jade, additions that will keep the mother of three busy all holiday season. Today, after her husband, Banks, says grace, she'll bow her head and say thanks for the twins, their six-year-old older brother Evan and her husband.
"I look at their picture and I just melt," said McMillan, 35. "I am very thankful for my family."
She also is thankful for extended family and friends, who helped out with the twins. Her mother, for example, retired early from her job at Hickam Air Force Base to baby-sit her children. Both grandparents watch the twins half the week, while she's at work as a physical therapist assistant at Kaiser and her husband is on duty as a police officer.
"I'm thankful for all the love, support and help this year from family and friends," she said.
Thankful to friends
Marrack, shown relaxing in his back yard, was bitten on his left foot by a shark while swimming off Makua Beach in June. His injuries were not serious. Advertiser library photo
Glenn Taira, 35, has had a tough year. His mom died this year, and he's facing his first holiday season without her.
John Marrack
She's the one who'd embroider his Christmas stocking, who would cook up the Thanksgiving feast, who would do arts and crafts that made their house a festive place at Christmas.
"It'll be different this year," said the 'Aiea man, who plans to celebrate the day with high school friends. "My dad is going to Vegas. ... (But) I'll be thankful my friends have been around to help me through this."
The birth of a nephew makes him smile, but his thoughts often return to his mother. He remembers that last year, when his mother was getting very sick, he put up a fresh Christmas tree so she could smell the pine.
"I'm thankful for her suffering to be over," he says quietly.
Lucky to be OK
To celebrate his 61st birthday in June, John Marrack and his wife, Stephanie, were swimming with a pod of dolphins 50 yards off Makua Beach when a shark bit down on his foot. Lucky for him, he still has the foot. Today he's back playing tennis.
The couple were in Japan when the news of the shark attack on Bethany Hamilton made global headlines.
"I saw pictures of the surfboard, like a cartoon with a chomp out of it," he said. Compared with Bethany's loss of an arm, "my shark just came up and caressed me."
When he says grace tonight, as he and his wife have done every night since their children were young, he'll try to stay in the moment rather than dwell on the past. But he's grateful every day.
"I'm very grateful it turned out the way it did," he said. "Stephanie and I talk about gratitude all the time. When you're upset or angry, you get tunnel vision. When you feel gratitude, things just seem more expansive. You feel so much better about the world around you."
Holiday in Hawai'i
Lt. j.g. Chris Streng, left, holds daughter Lauren, 8 months, who was born while Chris was away on duty. He's spending Thanksgiving in Hawai'i with his family, including wife Kristi, right, holding their 2-year-old daughter, Madelynn. Streng family photo
This promises to be a better Thanksgiving for Lt. j.g. Chris Streng, who serves aboard the frigate USS Reuben James.
Chris Streng
In 2002, he was on duty in port in Bahrain, standing watch, unable to call home until the next day.
"I had some processed turkey," he joked. "Or no, Spam."
This will be the first Thanksgiving in Hawai'i with wife Kristi and daughters Madelynn, 2, and Lauren, 8 months (whose birth he missed because his Mideast tour was extended).
When they sit down to turkey and all the fixings, including yams topped with marshmallows, they'll probably need the extra leaf for the table. Madelynn will make a sign of the cross, then sing grace: "God our father, once again, we would like to thank you, amen" (sung to the tune of "Frere Jacques").
"My wife and I are both thankful I'm home," he said. "We'll be thinking of our friends still out there. I know what it's like to be away."
Reach Mary Kaye Ritz at 525-8035 or at mritz@honoluluadvertiser.com.
