Posted on: Sunday, October 5, 2003

COMMENTARY
Stressed out? ... You bet I am

By Aislinn Hernandez

Editor's note: Aislinn Hernandez is a senior at Sacred Hearts Academy. Her commentary is the first in an irregular series of features by teens about their lives and experiences.

The stress started kicking in when I was a sophomore two years ago.

Homework, responsibility, college decisions ...

I once asked a teacher what I should do to deal with all the stress. The advice was something along the lines of "stress is a natural and healthy part of your life."

Are you kidding me? Two years later I have so much stress I can hardly breathe.

My average day: Wake up at 5 a.m., just to be at school in time for breakfast; take tests, quizzes, deal with grumpy people and teachers, all while trying to be "stress-free."

After I work on some homework at school, I head over to do volunteer work (got to log in those community service hours, colleges love those).

Once I get home — around 5 p.m. — the homework begins.

And what about sleep, you ask? Well, that doesn't happen until at least midnight (I pray to be in bed this early), but it's usually closer to 2 a.m.

And that's merely an average day. Then there are those days when I just can't leave campus until 6 p.m.

because of one of the many obligations I have to fulfill.

Oh, but don't forget, "stress is a natural and healthy part" of my life.

Try telling that to someone who survived her junior year of high school on three hours of sleep a night, and see how far that gets you.

Stress has become a constant part of the life of the average teenager. But in all honesty, this is something only teenagers would understand.

For example, I came home from school very late one day and said "Mom, I am so tired!" My mom snaps back "Why are you tired? What have you done all day? All you do is sit in school, while I work."

My response: "Yeah, all I do is sit around. Right after, you know, my three tests, two quizzes, an hour of community service, another half hour of cleaning at school, then two hours of working tirelessly on the school newspaper, then some research for a project I have due next week — you know, just 'sitting around' kind of stuff."

Parents telling their teens that they don't work is a slap in the face.

There's an argument that this kind of stress is necessary because it's hard, and the real world is hard, so we are getting the best kind of preparation imaginable.

But what about high school being the best years of our lives? Whatever happened to that idea?

But it's not only everyday school-work that causes stress. Oh no, there's that horrible, dreadful, disgusting word that any sensible teen hates.

College.

"What college?" "Have you applied?" "What career?" "What major?" "What are you going to do for the rest of your life?" "If you don't go to college, you won't be anything!"

These questions and comments start as early as the eighth grade. Like a 13-year old who is still trying to figure out who she is knows what she wants to be for the rest of her life.

Give me a break, really.

All this talk about college has turned the competition up to a ridiculous level. The pressure is on to be the No. 1 student in your class. This is what causes countless teenagers to take two AP classes, plus some Honors courses, join every club imaginable, and do about 100 hours of community service all to look good on an application.

I remember junior year of high school being a horrible time for a lot of my classmates. The pressure to get perfect grades for what we were constantly told was "the most important year of our academic careers" ended in disaster.

With AP Exams one week away and final exams two weeks after that, my entire class had to come in for five-hour review sessions on Saturdays for our AP course.

All this while getting ready for SATs (which also happened to be on prom night), getting ready for prom, and studying for final exams.

The morning after prom I found myself sitting in a room full of my peers, all half-awake and some still with their make-up on and hair up because they did not have time to shower or even change clothes before coming to the review session.

So many times I find myself asking, "Why on earth are we doing this to ourselves? When did all this stress start, and when will it end? When can I just have time to be a kid?"

Did you know that sleep deprivation, anxiety attacks, and small bouts of depression are all an ordinary part of a teenager's day?

I don't need a survey to prove it either. Go to any high school and look for the teenagers taking caffeine pills to stay awake, or drinking that shot of espresso in the morning because they didn't get enough sleep.

Or those teenagers who cut their arms and legs, battle with anorexia and bulimia, and have good grades but want to run away from home because they would rather die than be around parents who only talk about getting into college and how to improve their SAT scores.

The stress and the pressure to reach perfection build up to such a point that the average teenager can't deal with it all.

Those people ... those are my peers. And that's a normal part of being a teen today.

It's clear then that something needs to give here. Forget teenagers trying to be teenagers — those days are over. Now as a teen, the focus really needs to be on teenagers handling the pressures they deal with every day and not taking on so much stress that they become sick, and seriously damage their health.

Think about it. Most teenagers are thrown into a world where demands are coming at them from every direction.

So forget the beach, or going to the movies, or just doing something that requires having some good old-fashioned fun with friends and people you love. Being a teen today is so much harder than I ever expected. So am I stressed? You bet I am.

Honestly, what teenager isn't?

The Advertiser invites teens to speak out about their lives. If you would like to submit an article or suggest a topic, e-mail Island life assistant editor Dave Dondoneau at davedondoneau@honoluluadvertiser.com.