Here is what "The English Roses" is not: shocking. There's nothing shocking about it — except its shockinglessness.

Here is what the book is: a clever, if somewhat clunky, edge-free story of four pretty, petty-minded girlfriends who ostracize a fifth, the beautiful Binah, out of sheer envy. They cut her down. They ignore her. But eventually, with the help of a fairy godmother, they learn that Binah's life is not so blissful and they invite her to join their clique. There's no blood, no bondage, no conical-comical bras.

It will debut at the top of the New York Times' children's picture book bestseller list Sunday, according to its publisher. On Thursday afternoon, it was the second best-selling children's book on the Web sites of Amazon and Barnes & Noble. The book is available in 30 languages and in more than 100 countries.

Like Martha Stewart, Madonna teaches us how to live. Like Stewart, Madonna saturates mass-market America. She went on "Oprah" to promote the book. "Roses" is being sold in Wal-Marts, discount stores and Toys R Us outlets nationwide. GapKids has been giving a matching tote bag if you buy the book and a bunch of other merchandise.

And like Stewart, Madonna has made out — monetarily — on most of her ideas.

This time around, Material Girl is Maternal Girl. Mamadonna.

"Raising kids," Madonna, 45, says in a statement about the book, "makes most people, including myself, grow up at least a little. It also makes us more responsible and more thoughtful about our own actions and their consequences for those around us."

She adds: "Reading to my kids at night seemed like the ideal time to teach them a thing or two about life, love and the pursuit of happiness."

The book is short, if occasionally wordy, and gaily illustrated by Jeffrey Fulvimari. It's all very down-to-earth and domesticated.

From the jacket flap: "Madonna Ritchie was born in Bay City, Michigan. She has recorded 16 albums and has appeared in 18 movies. She lives with her husband, movie director Guy Ritchie, and her two children, Lola and Rocco, in London and Los Angeles."

There is a lot, of course, that the flap doesn't say.

Now that Madonna is an author, her influence stretches beyond the boardroom and the bedroom to the baby's room. It seems like only yesterday she was feeling like a virgin. Today she's more like a sword-wielding magician, slicing through popular culture at all angles.

When we first met her around 1984, she was wearing all white and writhing like a snake. Good girl gone bad.

Through the 1980s, she grew up a little faster than even bad girls should. By 1989, she was singing "Express Yourself" and prancing around in a black teddy and stockings. In 1992 she turned dominatrix in the "Erotica" video, donning a blindfold-mask and carrying a quirt. That same year she published her first book: "Sex."

Like Martha Stewart, Madonna is always hawking a way of life that is just out of reach for most folks. "Sex" debuted at No. 1 on the New York Times bestseller list and sold 1.4 million copies. Today "Sex" still sells: Copies are rare and go for $120 or more on the Internet.

She was blond, brunette, redheaded and topless in the 1995 video for "Bedtime Story." She played with politics in the 1996 movie "Evita" and with comedy in her 1999 video "Beautiful Stranger" with a song from the movie "Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me." Just last month, she caused an uproar by kissing Britney Spears and Christina Aguilera on stage at the MTV Video Music Awards.

Now she's starring in Gap ads and wearing white again. This time the bad girl has gone good.

"The journey I have traveled between my 'Sex' book and now is too vast and complex to define in a few sentences," Madonna says in her statement. "Suffice it to say that I see the world and my responsibility to it in a very different way."

As for her inspiration, Madonna credits her Kabbalah teacher, "who suggested that I share the spiritual wisdom I've learned studying the Kabbalah by writing children's stories."

Kabbalah is a set of mystical Jewish beliefs dating from the 12th century. According to the Kabbalah Centre International Web site, "the universe operates according to certain supremely powerful principles. By learning to understand and act in accordance with these precepts, we will vastly improve our lives today."

Madonna's proceeds from "Roses" will go to the Spirituality for Kids Foundation, a Los Angeles-based organization that oversees camps and programs for adults and kids, including the Kabbalah Children's Academy.

"Roses" is the first of five children's books by Madonna being published by Callaway Editions, a boutique New York publishing house. "Mr. Peabody's Apples" goes on sale Nov. 10.