Posted on: Sunday, October 5, 2003
FAMILY MATTERS
Eyewear can determine whom (what) you wish to look like
By Ka'Ohua Lucas
"Eh, I like your glasses, Auntie."
About 10 students were huddled together ready for me to brief them on mangrove and the negative impact it has on loko i'a (fish ponds).
I was dressed in my fishpond attire — surf shorts, stained T-shirt and puka tabis.
That morning I had also grabbed a pair of J.Lo-style dark glasses. The two-toned, resplendent eyewear made of acrylic shimmered as the sun bounced off the lenses.
Wanting to impress them, I added:
"Cool, yeah? Just $9.99 at Ross."
"You got ripped off, Auntie," a wafer-thin 12-year-old girl said, crossing her arms.
"What do you mean?"
"I seen those exact same glasses, with the rhinestones on top, for 99 cents at Price Busters."
If I had only known.
Actually, I have several pairs of dark glasses. I wear them depending on the occasion. When I'm in upscale areas of town, I try to look chic by wearing my J.Lo $9.99 sunglasses. Otherwise, I'll wear the black, wrap-arounds with mirrored lenses.
"Whoa, Mom," my 13-year-old said. "You look like one tita ready fo' beef!"
"Das right," I joked. "We go!"
I believe that people acquire a distinctive personality depending on the glasses they wear.
My husband used to wear a pair of eye frames similar to those worn by comedian Drew Carey. The black, horn-rimmed glasses attracted a lot of attention. Co-workers began calling him Drew.
In response, he would hike up his shoulders, ball up his fists and dance the Drew jig.
But that got old. So he opted for a more sophisticated look. Nowadays, he wears a pair of gold-rimmed glasses around the office.
"I really have a Clark Kent look with the glasses on, but with 'em off I am suuuuppay!" he says.
When he has to venture outdoors, he can easily switch to dark opticals.
The secondary set of clip-on lenses easily snaps onto his regular framed glasses.
Our daughter calls him a dork.
"You look like one of those tourists, Dad," she complains.
He laughs, then for her benefit will slather a quarter-inch glob of Bull Frog sunscreen down the bridge of his nose.
"You can be so irritating sometimes," she says in disgust.
So if you're up for a new look, drop by your favorite Price Busters.
You may be able to find a pair of J.Lo-looking glasses for 99 cents, complete with rhinestones.
Reach Ka'ohua Lucas at Family Matters, 'Ohana section, The Advertiser, P.O. Box 3110, Honolulu, HI 96802; fax 525-8055; or at ohana@honoluluadvertiser.com.
