Mom overpowers abuse, pulls family together
By Zenaida Serrano Espanol
Advertiser Staff Writer
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| 'Ohana of the Year
Bronson, 18; Shampagne, 10; Bernadette Cabral-Salas (mom), 46; Shavana, 9; Burton, 14; Brenner, 11; and Sheena, 12. Child & Family Service 'Ohana of the Year Award Luncheon 11 a.m. to 1 p.m. Oct. 29 Hilton Hawaiian Village Coral Ballroom Tickets: $45; 543-8413 Child & Family Service 681-3500 |
She knew that being pushed around, choked, yanked and clenched by her often-intoxicated husband could no longer be a part of her life.
And it was too much for Cabral-Salas to continue worrying for her six children.
Cabral-Salas' determination to pull her family through hard times earned her the Child & Family Service 'Ohana of the Year award, which honors people like Cabral-Salas, who have accomplished much with help from the agency.
"Bernadette and her family exemplify everything that Child & Family Service is about, and that is just being there to support families in need and helping them through their success," said agency president and CEO Geri Marullo.
Last year, Cabral-Salas, 46, made the difficult decision to have her husband of 27 years arrested after yet another physical altercation. She got assistance from Child & Family Service's Domestic Violence Advocacy Services program. And she has turned her life around.
Her husband, Thomas Salas, 46, now faces up to the role he played in the family's tough situation.
After his arrest for abuse of a household member and violating a temporary restraining order, he pleaded no contest. "I was guilty," he said.
Now Cabral-Salas is working on getting her G.E.D. diploma and recently started a new job as a representative for a debt-collection company. She and her children live in a transitional home.
Cabral-Salas said her children gave her the strength to change her life. "They are the blood that pumps through my veins," she said. "They are what I live for."
She also turned to God.
"I had to do a lot of soul-searching," Cabral-Salas said. "I thank God for giving me the strength and courage, and answering my prayers."
Susan Thorpe of CFS' Domestic Violence Advocacy Services division said Cabral-Salas sets a good example for her children and for other women who are in her situation by taking action to make things better for her family.
"The reason I nominated her was because I felt that out of all of my clients, she had made the most progress," Thorpe said. "I've had, over the last year, around 80 or 90" clients.
"A lot of people in my program, the moms, their kids are in (Child Protective Services) or scattered here and there," Thorpe said. "She has just really kept her family together and I was really impressed with how important her family is to her."
The family was among six nominees statewide and is the first from the Big Island to receive the award since its inception in 1984.
Cabral-Salas said she received support from her church, Glad Tidings Church, and from Thorpe, whom she met in August last year after Cabral-Salas was referred to the agency's Domestic Violence Advocacy Services program.
"(Thorpe) built my confidence, my self-esteem," Cabral-Salas said. "She was a really great inspiration."
Participants of the program work with case managers who help people dealing with domestic abuse become self-sufficient. Cabral-Salas completed the one-year program last month.
"I'm just really impressed with where she has come from and where she is now," Thorpe said. "She's always maintained a sense of humor and strength about her. She's an amazingly strong person."
As for Thomas Salas, from whom she's been separated for more than a year, Cabral-Salas said they are "working on rebuilding our marriage. ... He is addressing his issues at this time."
Thomas Salas, who attends drug and alternative-to-violence programs, said his wife is deserving of the award.
"She's a good mother to her children and she has worked very hard to get where she's at today," Salas said. ... "But I feel bad because the way she won it, because of the abuse toward her. That's the only thing I wish I could change."
Meanwhile, Cabral-Salas is grateful for her new life.
"The people I meet today who do not know my past, they can't believe the stories they hear about me," she said. "If I could do it, if I could come this far, there is hope for any woman out there."
Cabral-Salas and her children will be honored at a luncheon Oct. 29 at the Hilton Hawaiian Village Coral Ballroom.
Reach Zenaida Serrano Espanol at zespanol@honoluluadvertiser.com or 535-8174.
