FAMILY MATTERS
Better to let big one get away than to blow the surprise

By Michael C. DeMattos

My task was simple. Take one of my best buddies out for a morning of shoreline fishing and return him in time to enjoy his surprise birthday party. Why is it, then, that we (and more importantly, he) showed up an hour late? The answer is somewhat complex, though completely predictable.

The day started off poorly when I showed up an hour late because of an alarm-clock malfunction. Of the few rules anglers are wont to adhere to, none is more sacred than being on time. Like kids memorizing baseball stats, my friend and I have spent untold hours studying solar matrices, tide charts and lunar tables to calculate ideal fishing conditions right down to the minute. Being late is not an option.

Still, the drive out offered some hope. The coast was lined with poles. While we acknowledged that we were clearly beaten to the punch, we took solace in knowing that other anglers were wetting lines. Our assumption was that the "bite" was on, and our spirits lifted.

We were wrong. The action was slow, and we had no keepers. Some of the fish were smaller than the lures we used to catch them. The crazy thing is, we were still having fun. We were like Tom Sawyer and Huck Finn playing hooky from school. We tried every lure in the tackle box, hand-lined some fresh-cut bait and even chased crabs along the rocks.

After some time, I noticed that we were a bit behind schedule, but it was a surprise party, after all, and unlike a fishing trip, better to be late than early. That changed when my wife called me on the cell. Many of the family elders were going to be at the party, and it was imperative that we arrive on time.

I had to pick up the pace. The problem was that we were in the middle of nowhere. Then things went from bad to worse.

After more than five hours of fishing, my buddy had a "chase." A large fish had made a pass on his lure but missed.

I bit my lip, knowing that if he landed a fish now, I was in serious trouble. You see, anglers are like gamblers. If the bite is slow they assume they are due. If the bite is on, they want to ride it out.

If he caught something now, I would have to blow the whistle on the whole charade; otherwise he would never leave.

As it turned out, the fish never resurfaced, and I began the long trek back to the truck. My friend stared at me incredulously, but lined up behind me. An hour later we arrived at the party. The family screamed, "Surprise!" and the party went off without a hitch.

It seemed his family appreciated my plight. They realized that relying on two 40-year-old "boys" was a setup for failure. Add rods and reels, and they are lucky we made it back at all.

Thank goodness for loving families.

Family therapist Michael C. DeMattos has a master's degree in social work.