KISSES AND MISSES
Got issues? Our new weekly column offers straight-up advice
By Tanya Bricking
Advertiser Staff Writer
Who needs old-school advice when you need real-life answers?
We thought there was room in Hawai'i for a little more common sense, so The Advertiser is launching an advice column today that will take on your troubles with no-nonsense advice instead of psycho-babble.
Columnist Tanya Bricking has no formal training in mending matters of the heart. But she'll listen to your problems and dispense advice with sensitivity, sound advice and a sense of humor.
Look for the column, Kisses and Misses, on Thursdays in Island Life. You can participate by asking a question by fax, snail mail or e-mail. And you can even put in your own two cents about somebody else's problem by voting each week in our online poll.
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Dear Tanya: I'm a 35-year-old engineer, and for the last six months, I have been seeing this woman who works in a well-established hostess bar. She has a day job, but I know this is really her way of making a living. My question is, how do I know if she really likes me for who I am or if she likes me for my money? I know it's a bar, so I'm expected to "pay" for her company, but I get signals that she really likes me. You're probably wondering why I would subject myself to a girl who works in a hostess bar. A great deal has to do with my lifestyle. I don't have much of an opportunity to meet women. I've spent years frequenting singles bars but found that you can't meet "quality" type women in those establishments. Dating services cost a great deal of money, so that's out. And my circle of friends is primarily beer-drinking buddies.
— Hooked on a hostess
Maybe seeing this in print will help you see the light. You are her customer. You pay her to flirt with you. It's all about your money. Just see what happens if you stop doling out the dollars and give her love notes instead. I don't have to tell you that you can't buy love. But I can tell you that the longer you're fixated on a hostess, the more points you'll have against you from the next woman who will want to dump you because of it.
You think a hostess bar is better place than a singles' club for meeting "quality" type women? That's interesting. How, exactly, is a dating service more expensive than kissing your money goodbye your way? Here's the deal, Hooked: You really need to expand your circle of friends. Meeting someone at a bookstore or cultural event would be a lot less creepy.
Need advice? Write to Kisses and Misses, The Advertiser, P.O. Box 3110, Honolulu, HI 96802 , fax 525-8055 or e-mail kissesandmisses@honoluluadvertiser.com.
