KISSES AND MISSES
Soldier should take a hint from local ex's refusal to reconcile
By Tanya Bricking
Advertiser Staff Writer
Dear Tanya: I'm a military haole guy who recently had a relationship with a local girl end (her idea). I'm pretty devastated. The main issue was whether I was going to retire from the military and stay here, or stay in the military and take an assignment back on the Mainland. Our cultures and styles became yet other roadblocks. Before I left on a trip overseas, we had a slight argument, and I foolishly had a one-night stand while I was gone. I felt so bad about it that I told her when I returned. We talked things out and she forgave me. Things seemed to go really well again for a couple months. Then a couple of weeks ago, she told me she wanted to end the relationship and be friends. I think she was frustrated I didn't give her a clear road map for the future. The other day, I told her I would switch churches and stay in Hawai'i when I retire and that I wanted us to be a family. I laid it on the line and let her know I wanted her back. She would have none of it, and said she was happy we were broken up and that she is enjoying being single. I really do love her and want her to be happy. What is my best move now?
— HEARTBROKEN HAOLE
This is a typical military-guy problem. Fall in love with a local girl, and chances are she doesn't want to leave Hawai'i. If she really wanted you to stay, you wouldn't be hearing about how glad she is you're not together anymore. Accept your fate. She's through with you.
Need advice? Write to Kisses and Misses, The Advertiser, P.O. Box 3110, Honolulu, HI 96802 , fax 525-8055 or e-mail kissesandmisses@honoluluadvertiser.com.
