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The Honolulu Advertiser
Posted on: Friday, September 5, 2003

ISLAND VOICES
Marriage: by whose authority?

By the Rev. Dan Hatch

The Rev. Dan Hatch is senior minister of the Manoa Valley Church, United Church of Christ.

Two of the great tenets on which this country was built are freedom of religion and separation of church and state. These two issues need to be re-examined in light of the growing confusion around the issue of gay marriage.

There are two aspects to most marriages: one religious, one secular/legal. These two aspects get confused due to the archaic practice of having religious authorities sign marriage licenses.

As an ordained minister, my responsibility in helping a couple prepare for marriage is to make sure they understand their mutual love is a gift from God, understand the religious nature of a marriage covenant, and have some understanding as to how one nurtures and sustains a loving relationship. If I feel a couple is not secure enough emotionally to make a marriage work, I can refuse to be God's agent in blessing their marriage.

Nowhere in the marriage counseling process am I required to inform the couple of the legal and civil requirements of marriage. Nor do I have any authority to enforce such legal or civil requirement. So why then should I be an agent of the state when it comes to marriage? I have absolutely no qualifications or training in legal and civil aspects of a marriage, yet in Hawai'i I have to have a license to perform marriage ceremonies.

The state certainly has no theological basis on which to determine if I am fit to conduct religious marriages. A mail-order certificate of ordination can be sufficient. What a farce!

It is high time we reaffirm the separation of church and state and get religious authorities out of the marriage license signing business. There is absolutely no justification for us to be agents of the state with regard to marriage. In France and other places, you go to the courthouse to be legally married, and the church, synagogue, mosque or temple to have a religious marriage. It is a great model that honors the separation of church and state.

Today we have many retired folks, often widows or widowers, who meet in retirement or nursing homes and fall in love. As religious authorities, we should be able to bless those marriages so people aren't forced to "live in sin" simply because they cannot afford to be legally married due to loss of retirement or health benefits. If religious institutions limit themselves to conducting holy unions, it should make no difference whether or not such unions are "legal." Each religious institution should be free to decide, according to its faith and order, which unions are to be blessed and sanctified.

Any couple desiring to have a "legal" marriage, whether or not such a marriage is blessed by a religious institution, would go to the designated state or county office to request such certification. The civil authority could set up any requirements it may chose. It is my bet that it would not take long for a couple to be granted a legal certificate of marriage — for a fee — if they present to the civil authority a certificate, signed by a religious authority and witnessed by one or two others, stating that the couple had been joined in holy matrimony according to the faith and order of a given religious institution. The religious institutions, for their part, would be free to advocate for the civil rights of any couple, gay or straight, that they joined in holy matrimony.

Currently, many religious institutions, such as my denomination, The United Church of Christ, have as part of their faith a liturgy for the blessings of a civil service. In the same way, the state can legalize a religious marriage. This is the way it should be given the constitutional commitment to separation of church and state. But no state organization should sanctify a religious marriage, nor should any religious institute legalize a civil marriage.

It is time for religious authorities to get out of the marriage license signing business as agents of the state.