Confessions of a bridezilla
• The Wedding Planner's Web log
By Tanya Bricking
Advertiser Staff Writer
Wednesday, Sept. 17, 2003
The worst part about being a bride-to-be is that it makes you so self-absorbed.
Even writing this Web journal makes me want to apologize for brides everywhere.
I used to be able to carry on normal conversations. Now I attempt to have ones that don't include the words "wedding," "my fiance" or anything in the "bridal" family.
The best answer to: "How's that wedding planning going?" I think I'll just start saying: "fine."
It's like somebody asking you how you're doing and not really wanting to know about your cold.
I have a disease, and it's called wedding planning.
It is making my groom wonder what he's gotten himself into.
Last night as I was discussing wedding particulars, my fiance (there I go again) said he'd just like to know what he could do, because at this point he felt like he hadn't contributed anything.
Of course, that set off my waterworks. Tears, tissues, the whole drama. Not usually my thing.
I don't know what's gotten into me.
I've been cutting people off mid-sentence when their ideas for my day don't fit into my "vision." I never thought I had any unbreakable wedding-day "visions." I guess I was wrong.
I'm stubborn and I think I may be turning into my mother (who is a good woman who loves me and graciously wants to help pay for the wedding, and who may be reading this and angered by the thoughtless rants of her self-centered daughter. Sorry.)
Thank God the wedding is only two months away, because I don't think I could stand for this planning to stretch out any longer.
I don't want to bore my friends about ring-bearer pillows. I don't want to talk about tiaras. I'm even sick of my whiny complaints about what's supposed to be a joyous event.
I just want to be married already.
Tanya Bricking writes about relationships for The Advertiser. Reach her at tbricking@honoluluadvertiser.com or 525-8026.
[Posted on September 21, 2003 at 7:53 am HST]
When my fiance and I got engaged 6 months ago, we talked about planning our wedding day and all the stress that would be associated with it. With the guest list, flower arrangements, rings and little details, it seemed like we would be totally streesed out. We made a pact however, to make this a fun process. No streesing out about 'the perfect day' or 'the perfect flower arrangements' or who's feelings would be hurt if we didn't send them an invitation. We promised to do what WE wanted to do and relax and enjoy the whole experience. There are too many factors that you cannot control and you must remember that this is not a fairy tale where everything is perfect no matter how much you dreamt it would be as a kid. It's roughly 6 months to the big day and I can honestly say that we have not stressed out over anything thus far....except on how many kids to have.
H.C.
Las Vegas
[Posted on September 20, 2003 at 6:02 pm HST]
You should have just married at Magic Island at sunset with only immediate family as witnesses, then had a great big BBQ bash with all of your friends and family....then just spent money on a great photographer and videographer and food.
No stress.
No self-absorption.
Just fun.
Kara
Honolulu
[Posted on September 19, 2003 at 9:30 pm HST]
Just remember this...only you know what your vision is and isn't...no one except you will ever know if whatever happened is what you planned. Relax and enjoy this process...
An event planner
Aiea
[Posted on September 19, 2003 at 2:33 pm HST]
Dear Tanya
What a relief it was to read your column on:
" Wedding Bridezilla ". I'm sorry to say, but I think I've got a case of this disease.
Since getting engaged almost 7 months ago to a wonderful and loving man, I've seen an impatient, super sensitive, in tolerable and demanding woman emerge. Not to mention, early signs of Alzheimer has also accompanied this mad woman -wedding planner syndrome.
What is happening " to me?
I too find myself getting short with my mom, with people who are walking, talking or driving to slow, and of course, my poor fiance who has been so understanding and helpful.
I can't seem to remember anything, so
" Post-its " have been my best friend.
Our wedding is a little less than 2 months away, and I Can't wait.
Like you, I just want to be married.
I think brides sometimes spend too much time and energy planning their wedding- that will be over in just a few hours, rather than spending the time planning on how to keep their marriage together- a life time journey that is in going..
Best wishes to you!
Aloha
Joanne Subiaga
Joanne Subiaga
Honolulu, HI
[Posted on September 19, 2003 at 2:03 pm HST]
I completely concur! I've been engaged for less than two months, and it feels like the only words left in my vocabulary are words like "flowers, reception, gowns, and chapels"... The never ending story...
And I agree, next comes Momzilla.
Bridezilla Jr
Honolulu, Hawaii
[Posted on September 19, 2003 at 9:35 am HST]
I got married Aug. 30, 2003 to a wonderful man.
When you first get engaged your on "cloud 9", and you feel you have a million things to do. You need certain type of flowers or this certain type of wedding favors, and having a "wine taste wedding; with beer money". This is what stress you out the most.
I've been planning my wedding over 1 yr.
My wedding consist of 19 people (including the ring bearer and flwr. girls), I also had a themed wedding (Leopard print), to challenge myself.
I planned this wedding from start to finish.If I had learn anything from my wedding planning,it's "if you want something done, you need to do it your self".
My advice is to spend good money on things that you will keep. Wedding Video (Videographer), Wedding Pictures (Photographer), Rings (bride and groom). Oh, and get a coordinator to coordinate your wedding day (this will make it easy).
Brides tend to stress out on things that don't matter...I started to be one of them, when I snapped out of it. Congradulations~
Mrs. Momi Abdon
Ewa Beach
[Posted on September 19, 2003 at 8:05 am HST]
My wife was like that.
She always went to the explanation "little girls think and dream of this day all their life"
True enough.
Anyway, before long, you'll be a "wifezilla" and "momzilla" like my "belovedzilla"
Mothra-band
sadly on email id
honolulu
