FAMILY MATTERS
Husband chooses not to participate in 'the game of sock play'

By Ka'ohua Lucas

I have to admit, the one household chore I can't abide is trying to find a pair of socks that match.

It's not as if it's a difficult task, you say. Simply find the two that match, and voila!

The problem I have is that the sock colors never coordinate.

As a result, I have stationed a laundry basket near the dryer. For every load completed, I pop the unpaired socks into the basket.

My 'ohana understands the system I've set up. They never search in their dresser drawers for socks, but instead immediately seek out the blue plastic bin next to the dryer.

Experts advise that for business or office attire, socks should be similar in color to trousers.

I wonder what they would say if they saw the kind of socks my husband wears to work.

One day he wore a white ankle-length athletic sock on one foot and a taupe-colored one with black sunburst designs on the other.

"Honey?" I frowned. "What's up with that?"

As he peeled both socks from his feet, he said: "My dear, socks are definitely overrated, as are shoes."

"How so?" I asked.

"They are unneeded. Here in the tropics they are merely signs of status," he said, exposing his lu'au feet. "And I choose to not fall into the game of sock play."

He obviously believes that his worth is determined by his efforts and achievement.

Not by the way he dresses.

Fashion experts are always touting the fact that "appropriate clothes can make a statement of who we are and what we are.

"When we meet business associates and the general public, we should always appear to be what we want to be ... successful and trustworthy."

I am relieved that when my husband sits behind his desk the only part that is exposed to his clients is from the waist up.

Not all of his socks are mismatched. In fact, many of the pairs he wears do match.

But some have been altered.

In one laundry load, I discovered a pair, clinging to a sarong.

Can you believe it?

A matching pair!

The navy blue, wide-ribbed socks of easy-care cotton and nylon blend were brand new.

But the elasticized band, which hugs the calf of the leg, had been cut to widen the opening.

"Pray tell, what happened here?" I asked, flopping the socks down onto his newspaper.

"Well, Lovey," he said earnestly while taking a sip of coffee. "Today's socks are just not made for the gentlemen with manly calves."

Reach Ka'ohua Lucas at Family Matters, 'Ohana section, The Advertiser, P.O. Box 3110, Honolulu, HI 96802; fax 525-8055; or e-mail ohana@honoluluadvertiser.com.