Posted on: Thursday, September 25, 2003

THE COLOR OF MONEY
Stick to your rules of financial integrity

By Michelle Singletary

WASHINGTON — One sunny Saturday afternoon, I decided to see a movie with a friend. We had a few hours before the movie started, so we decided to stop for brunch. That's when I realized I had left my wallet at home.

I asked my friend to lend me some money. But when he checked his wallet, he realized he had only about $15. That wasn't going to be enough to take in a movie and have a meal.

"Well, you have a credit card, don't you?" I asked.

"Of course," my friend said. "But I refuse to use it for anything other than an emergency."

"Excuse me, but this is an emergency," I said, informing him that I hadn't eaten since lunch the day before and I was ready to take a bite out of his arm if I didn't get some food soon.

He suggested we find an ATM nearby and he would give me cash. However, we couldn't find an ATM for his bank. (At my urging, my friend now tries to use only a machine that belongs to his bank to avoid ATM fees. Me and my big mouth.)

Anyway, I again begged my friend to use his credit card so I could get something to eat.

He thought about it but was unmoved. He just kept repeating his money rule about using a credit card.

"I call using credit cards a fool's game and I shall refer you to the wisdom I learned in a pool hall," he said, beginning a lecture I've heard often. "I thought I could play pool and ventured into a pool hall just once and got cleaned out. Bottom line, I consider credit cards a hustle by the credit card industry. Their job is not to help us manage our money but to encourage us to spend. We may try to be smart, but this is their hustle and you can't out-hustle the hustler. The only way to win is not to play!"

I repeated my promise to pay — on the heads of my three children.

"Nope, in good conscience, I just can't do it. People spend more if they use their credit," he continued. "It's inevitable. Credit is elastic money and it's human nature to try to stretch it. This is why I'm appalled by people who use credit cards to charge meals in restaurants."

I was livid. Here I was hungry and this man, my friend of more than 20 years, wouldn't break this one little rule just this once. I tell you I was ticked off to high heaven.

We saw the movie, but I never got my meal.

However, my friend did give me some food for thought.

How often do we pressure people into breaking their money rules in the same way we sabotage someone's efforts to lose weight?

Have you ever said to someone dieting, "Go ahead and take a slice of that pie. How much can it hurt?"

How about, "Go ahead and buy that car, dress, television (or fill in the blank). You can afford to treat yourself."

This story isn't about the dangers of using credit cards. I effectively use them, and I don't get into trouble.

The moral of this story is that we all should have a set of financial rules. And we shouldn't encourage our friends, family or co-workers to be money rule breakers.

I was wrong to try to browbeat my friend into using his credit card. My friend admitted that he doesn't trust himself not to overspend when using a credit card. As a result, he rarely uses credit. And when I say rarely, I do not mean that he occasionally charges items and pays them off the next month.

I mean he keeps a credit card so he can make a reservation for a rental car or hotel room.

But when it comes time to pay, he prefers cash. He lives by the rule that if you don't have the cash to pay for the things you want, you really can't afford the purchase (the two exceptions are his house and car).

That day when my friend refused to use his credit card, he displayed financial integrity. And what do I mean by that?

To have integrity is to have a steadfast adherence to a strict moral or ethical (or financial) code. If you have financial integrity, you are free from corrupting influences or motives.

That means you don't have a big, costly wedding you can't afford just because you think that is what's expected.

It means that you won't accept another credit card — even if it does have no interest for six months — because you're already maxed out on the cards you've got.

In the end (well, a day later after I had eaten) I had to respect my friend for not giving into my gurgling stomach and unfair demand to use his credit card. As the famous architect and engineer R. Buckminster Fuller said: "Integrity is the essence of everything successful."

I will definitely remember that quote and my wallet next time I go out.