Putting your wedding on the fast track
By Tanya Bricking
Advertiser Staff Writer
Those wedding checklists that say what you're supposed to do in the year before your wedding read like a Martha Stewart Living calendar.
Under the heading of "12 Months or More Before," one checklist includes 19 items before getting to "begin making origami cranes."
Lots of people love those sorts of guidelines. But I was never a "rules" girl.
There will be no origami cranes at my wedding, and I really won't miss them.
I'm finding more inspiration from people like Rhea Cabrera, who crush the myth that wedding planning has to be a lengthy endeavor. Cabrera has no time to fret over florists, caterers, photographers and musicians.
She's getting married tomorrow morning, after less than a month of planning.
She and her fiancé, Joshua White, have been together for almost seven years. They had been planning to marry anyway, but life threw them a curve ball: She's pregnant with twins. That had a way of speeding things up.
After their families got over the initial shock, everyone pitched in to help.
"Once things started rolling, people started asking how they could help," Cabrera said.
They set a budget of $7,000 and began working the phones.
By process of elimination, they found what they were looking for: a site where they could have the ceremony and reception, complete with a buffet and wedding cake. They just had to be flexible on the time, so they agreed to a 9:30 a.m. ceremony at the Hale Koa Luau Gardens with a lunch reception to follow for 160 guests.
Cabrera, 23, a free-lance graphic designer in Kapolei, made the invitations herself on her computer and sent them out about a week ago. She's handling all of the RSVPs over the phone.
White, 24, of Kailua, a waiter at Chili's Grill & Bar in Kapolei, has been spending several hours a day making phone calls to firm up reservations and details usually left to the bride.
Their wedding has become a true team effort with responsibilities doled out to aunties, uncles and cousins.
"Delegate," Cabrera suggested as a main tip for others in a time crunch. "I've completely let go of the flowers, so I don't even know what they'll look like, but I'm sure they'll be fine. And the bridesmaids' dresses, they picked them out, and I said, 'Yeah, that's great.' "
By nature, Cabrera says, she's a bit of a worrier, but she says a rushed wedding means she has no time to be obsessive. She has had to make decisions and stick with them.
She found a wedding dress to rent right off the rack. And a really scaled-down version of a Martha Stewart checklist has kept her focused.
"You just have to keep organized and be willing to make compromises," she said.
Her main sacrifice has been letting go of a video slide show that would have been too time-consuming.
But she's still having a maid of honor and three bridesmaids, who bought dresses at Macy's, and a best man and three groomsmen, who easily found tuxes. Her mom is making the ring-bearer pillow and friends are helping take care of other details.
"My bridal shower turned into a craft party making favors," she said. They decorated individual cake boxes as favors and will stack them together to make them double as centerpieces.
"I knew from the beginning it was do-able. It was just a matter of being organized," she said. "It's sort of like a school assignment. There's no option for procrastination when it's short notice."
Cabrera took Wednesday, Thursday and today off as vacation days to firm up the last details. She and White were still deciding at the last minute whether to burn CDs for music or to find University of Hawai'i students who could be an affordable string quartet.
But Cabrera and White plan to dance away no matter what. By Saturday afternoon, it will all be over, and they'll be off on their Neighbor Island honeymoon — a three-day trip that will feel like real leisure time for a couple of lovebirds.
Tanya Bricking writes about relationships for the Advertiser. Read a Web log chronicling the countdown to her November nuptials, on the Wedding Planner link at www.honoluluadvertiser.com.
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Streamlining it
Tips for getting hitched in a hurry:
- Hire a professional: If you have the money, a wedding consultant has the time to find a site and put you in touch with vendors that suit your style and price range.
- Look for reception packages: Many hotels, country clubs and restaurants offer easy, full-service wedding and reception packages including hors d'oeuvres, meal, a cake and champagne toast.
- Get referrals: Talk to recent brides and grooms and find out which vendors they would hire again.
- Buy an off-the-rack wedding dress: Find a dress you don't have to order, even if it's a sample, rental, prom or bridesmaid dress.
- Tighten the guest list: Having fewer guests is a time- and money-saver.
- Budget your time: Use work breaks, nights and weekends to make phone calls, e-mail or fax vendors and schedule meetings.
- Keep the wedding party small: It's easier to gather the troops and plan the attire if it's a manageable number.
- Be flexible: With little time to plan, you may have to compromise on the time or the day of your wedding. Saturday nights book up quickly. Mornings, Sundays and even Friday evenings are popular alternatives.
Source: "How to 'I Do': Planning the Ultimate Wedding in Six Weekends or Less" (Regan Books, $21.95)
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