FAMILY MATTERS
Of rats and men ... and filling up car's wiper fluid

By Michael C. DeMattos

Mornings are pretty busy in our house. We each have roles and responsibilities that must be taken care of if we wish to leave the house in a timely manner.

I suppose that ours, like any functioning family (or perhaps dysfunctioning, in our case), would look from the outside like a bunch of rats running around a maze.

Such was the case when a co-worker of mine asked for a ride to work one day. Her car was in the shop, and so she stopped by the house early one morning.

My wife was busy packing the lunches and then loading the car while I refilled the coffee cups and put out the dog. All the while my friend stood in the doorway between the kitchen and living room and watched as we went through our routine.

There were last-minute bathroom breaks, shoelaces to be tied and final checks of the lights and stove. In the end, it is all rather mindless stuff, though each important in its own way.

My friend was amazed at the coordination it took just to get out of the house each morning. She was shocked to learn of the exponential complexity when a single body is added to the mix.

As she marveled at our daily ritual, I thought of all those parents with a clutch of kids. They have my deepest admiration and respect.

Still, I was feeling pretty proud of myself and my family. But it's at times like this that life provides little reminders that if you think you are all that ... think again.

After work a few days later, I walked out to the car to meet my wife and daughter for an early dinner out on the town.

As I approached the car, I saw a hand appear from the driver's side window. In it was a child's sippy cup the contents of which were suddenly thrown against the windshield. I laughed aloud as the wipers began to move and my wife's smiling face became visible.

She had been asking me for the last two weeks to refill the wiper fluid and I had never gotten around to it.

She took matters into her own hands, literally, and cleaned the windshield herself.

Sure, she could have refilled it or perhaps gone to a full service gas station, but that would have missed the point. It was my job to refill the wiper fluid and besides, everyone knows that there is no such thing as full service anymore.

Under the tight constraints of the modern life, things simply do not get done.

We have too much on our plates and some things are bound to fall off, get left behind, or forgotten.

It's interesting, but I think it is our foibles that allow our humanity to shine through. We laugh at ourselves and with each other.

Life can get crazy, and at times we may feel like rats in a maze, but it is important to remember that it is not the maze that matters, it's the rats ... I mean, our loved ones.

Family therapist Michael C. DeMattos has a master's degree in social work.